Waiting

For someone who proclaims the virtues of delayed gratification, I hate waiting for things. I get antsy and agitated and I talk too much. I am fine if it is an abstract concept, but if it is something tangible, I get all uptight and wound up.

Erump.

The Hair Report

I can still keep it under control with enough gel... but only for about 3 hours. Eventually time and sweat and atomic forces I don't fully understand takes its toll and my hair just springs back.

I fell asleep last night with out taking a shower. Sleep and the remaining gel did wonders for the hair. I very much looked the part of a anime character this morning.

Favorite keyword search of the day...

methodical explanation cryptonomicon penises

Obama vs McCain - K.O.! Fight!

I ahven't been posting much video game stuff lately because, well, there hasn't been much to say. E3 was a big yawn fest this year, except for news that Final Fantasy XIII is coming out for the 360 (there goes 50 hours of my life). Nor have I been writing about the election because nothing real interesting is going to happen until we see the vp canadates or we get to the conventions (which still won't be all that interesting).

But here's something. Soul Calibur IV lets you customize characters. Barrak versus John seems seems like a no brainer.



(via Game Politics)

Things I like

• Strawberries.
• People singing Christmas songs just for me in July.
• Bubbles.
• Tug boats.

Unrelated: I am doing karaoke on Wednesday for the first since I started doing musical improv. I am hoping my general fear of singing in front of people will carry over to singing real songs in a bar. I think I will sing Under Pressure. Man, I love that song.

Thank You, Robot. Tonight.

We have another show tonight (Aug. 1st). You should come. Under St. Marks has a decent a/c.

Thank You, Robot presents
Summer Fridays!
with
Loretta!
The Appleheads
and
Thank You, Robot

Under St. Marks (94 St. Marks Place)
10:30pm. $6.

Head to Grassroots Tavern afterwards.

Ouch

Yesterday's move was both better and worse than I expected.

Better because, well, I can be a jerk. Not about a lot of things but moving large objects is one of those things. I spent a fair amount of time moving big things in a previous job and there is a good way to do it and a bad way to do it. It definitely takes cooperation and communication. I don't know, I guess I have flashbacks of hanging from a girder 40 feet above a stage floor, negotiating 25 feet steel beams into tiny spaces. When I'm moving with people without experience, I can get testy. I have had relationships come close to an end because of a narrow doorway and a large couch. But maybe because Little and I have spent the last 2 years developing group mind, there was no problem.

Also helps that he isn't an idiot. And they had good pizza. And popsicles!

It was worse because I am not the shape I used to be in. Today I feel like Beezy, Little and I got into an argument with an angry drunk sofa in a tiny dive bar. I am bruised and sore. I can't believe I used to do this five days a week for 8 hours (or more) a day. With climbing. Part of me misses this feeling. That part of me is an idiot.

(Blogger really wants me to capitalize "popsicles." I had no idea it was one of those registered trademarked copyrighted names like Band-Aids or Xerox.)

Helping

I'm helping Little and Tugs move today. This is what I get for not having a 9 to 5 job. I am also keenly aware that the favor will never be returned. Not that they wouldn't willing do so because they are both kind and generous people. But I have absolutely no desire to move. I have no need to move. Maybe I'll just have them come over one day and move furniture up and down the stairs. Or do yard work. Man, do ever need to do work on the backyard.

Here's the other thing: When asking your friends to help you move, don't make it sound like it will be fun. Or try to entice me with beer and pizza. Yeah, yeah. You say it will be good beer and good pizza. You know what? I don't care. I can get beer and pizza pretty darn easy. If I'm helping you move, it's because I care about you and want to help your life go smoother. And certainly don't try the "You'll have first dibs on the stuff we aren't taking." That's just saying "Hey, you lie garbage, right?" (Although I often score something special every time I help people move.)

Other tips:
• Be fucking packed before your friends show up.
• Books go in small boxes, no bigger than a banker's box or milk crate.
• Learn to pack a truck. It's just like Tetris. It's not hard.
• Big stuff first.
• Don't apologize for all of your crap.
• Don't get defensive when I mock your crap.
• It is not okay the break out the bull whip and sing "Where there's a whip, there's a way."* Yeah, it's funny once.


* I used to love this song. I had the album and would play that one song over and over, sing along. I have no idea what my parents made of that.

Oh, that's what it was!

In a post a couple of days ago, I mentioned some keyword searches. One was duck tails makes the hootie known. I had no idea what that was. Well, I was looking through my own old posts today (man, I never reread anything I write... made clear by all of the weird typos) and realized what it was.

Morphine Makes The Hootie Known. Uncle. Lima.

That still makes me laugh. Look around, count on Lassie indeed.

(i hate you)

Corn! Soylent Green is made out of corn!

I am loving the ice cream/coffee place that opened down the block from me. Great ice cream, good coffee. And I do appreciate that they are extremely environmentally friendly. I do get a bit flustered when over I throw something away there due to all of the recycle categories. But, hey, it's for the planet. I like the planet. (And ice cream.)

But I was just looking at the to-g ice coffee cup right now. You know, the clear plastic type of cup. Here's what it says"

This cup is made from corn,
environmentally sustainable,
and 100% compostable.

Now I am convinced my ice coffee tasty like cereal.

Hey, Look

I fixed the damn banner. Got it to fit and cut off my lips. You don't really need to see my lips. That just seems excessive.

I also changed the subtitle (again). Originally it had been "Can I get a sherpa for all of my baggage?" I liked it when I had baggage I was carrying around (and the word "sherpa" is funny), but most of my baggage as been sorted through, boxed up and stuck into storage so that I can can lay in on my kids if I ever have them. Then it was "An infinite pile of crap is still just crap" which originally sounded like a wry commentary of the internet and mass media. But then I realized that it sounded exactly like the standard crap commentary on the internet and mass media. I usually write or post things that make me happy and make the world interesting. Which led to the sappy "Beauty is in the pauses." I still agree with that, but combined with my cutesy picture made me just want to post pictures of kittens. And while I get joy from pictures of kittens, it was all just a bit too dear.

So I settled on "or: How I Procrastinate" which is just accurate.

If you wish to see why it is called Twang of the Void, read the first ever post. You can also tell I had baggage back then.

(I thought about "A fat kid, an albino, an Unitarian and a manta ray walk into a bar..." but couldn't get it to fit on the banner.)

WALL•E, 2nd Viewing

I don't have all that much to say about it. Was it as good the second time? Yes.

Actually might have been a bit better, but it had little to do with the actual movie.

The theater was mostly empty except for the family of five sitting in my row. An overweight family. Well, let's just call them fat. Midway through the movie, when we first see what has become of the Axiom's passengers, I turned to look at them. Three of the five were sucking on their jumbo sodas in a perfect mirror of the action on the screen. (One of the remaining had her hand in a bucket of popcorn. Dad had fallen asleep.) Movie magic.

(Yes, that is two posts in a row where I have made disparaging comments about overweight people. Next week is my "Why I hate albinos" series, followed by the four part "Unitarians Are Crazy.")

Change

They switched the panhandler at my subway entrance. I wish they'd asked me. Don't we get to vote on this sort of thing? I'm furious.

I liked the old one. I spent months developing a rhythm and a relationship with him. Sometimes I'd give him money, sometimes not. It was cool. When I did I received a nice smile and maybe a "God Bless." When I didn't, he'd swear at me under his breath. We knew what the expect from each other. Now I have to start all over with this new guy.

The old one had an eye patch and weird teeth. He reminded my of a pirate. This new guy just appears to be over weight. What sort of eccentric character is that? And I don't like the way he asks for money. It's just a repetitive sing-songy "Please, can you help me out? Please. Please, can you help me out?" It's whiny and cliché. I mean, it sounds like begging. Eye Patch had a deep earthy voice, a baritone, and an ever shifty patter of blessings, observations and occasional swearing. He also tailored his pitch to each of us. His perceptiveness zeroed in on each of are quirks and personalities and he called it like he saw it. He always called me "Skinny White Boy" which is so dead on.

This new guy just seems to be going through the motions. I just don't know what the city is coming to.

(Honestly, I hope Eye Patch is okay.)

"Well, I've seen those laxative tantrums before..."

Click on image to view a larger actually readable version. There is so much wrong here.

"So I slapped her and told her she was a bad girl."

(Via I'm Learning To Share!)

And we'll fill it with crocodiles

I have been semi-actively trying to shift my sleep schedule for the last few days. This is in prep for the Del Close Marathon. Mock me if you will, but since I (for the most part) set my own schedule, I see no reason why I shouldn't train myself to fall asleep at 10am and wake up at 4pm.

My plan was to do this slowly over... just keep staying up a little later each night and sleeping a little longer. Seemed like a great plan.

The rest of my block didn't get the memo.

The building to the south of me is apparently driving metal spikes into our shared wall. This s something that must start at 7am and continue until 9am. I read somewhere that those are the magic hours for sledgehammering metal into brick. Actually, I don't know what they are doing but it is impressive the noise they can create.

At 9:15am, ConEd continues with building a moat down my street. It seems they are building it just for me and a few neighbors. Very generous of them. It is very difficult to cut a foot wide trench in asphalt. At first I assumed they were getting access to pipes or cable or some such, but every time I walk by and look into the trench, all I see is dirt. Moat is the only thing that made sense.

I am a bit more confused today. They dug a bit more on the moat in the early hours but by 10am they were filling it up with hot tar and asphalt. Which make a poor moat unless you can keep the hot tar molted. That may be what they have done because I am still feeling high from the fumes wafting into my window.

So Operation: Shift Sleep has been a failure but I am just that much closer to my dream of living in a Medieval Times.

Critical Mass

I've had a small amount of experience with doing large scale un-permited events in NYC (most via the Idiotarod). It is a careful line to walk. The vast majority of organizers do everything they can to keep things safe. It is such rarity when things for wrong.

The NYPD, for whatever reasons, really dislike these events. Critical Mass in particular. I honestly don't quite get it.

From last Friday...


Here is The Gothamist's write up.
Here is a weird opinion piece from The Post.
The NYTime.

I am just linking right now because I am furious this second and can't write about. Need to process my thoughts.

(via Gothamist)

Big Dog

(via Anna)

When in doubt, blog about the blog

I have a bunch of things I want to write about, they just aren't blog material. So it's another installment of "Keyword Search."

Things people have typed into google and end up here:

mythbuster slash remains high on this list. I get a dozen hits a month. Almost makes me want to write some... almost. deadlist catch slash is coming on strong. so far no ice truckers slash but now that I've type it, I am sure it will follow.

solutomaattimittaamotulos draws in a bunch of people which surprises me. I suppose it doesn't give a lot of results. Lesson: Have your blog be very specific. And have Discovery Channel sex fiction.

mai tai say that i'm old fashioned or variations of that is popular. That's still from an old post with Christopher Lee singing but while blogging about Dr. Horrible Sing-A-Log Blog I referenced it, realized YouTube had taken down the original video, so re-posted it with a new video. YOU CAN'T KEEP CHISTOPHER LEE OFF HE YOUTUBES!

I have no idea what six gift art is but I assume it is dirty.

"scrotal suspension" still draws a crowd. Some day I'll have to name an improv team after that. Or a child. It's a good boy's name.

duck tales makes the hootie known? I so wish I knew what they were looking for.

paperart + harry potter is probably really cool. I'm going to look it up. If it turn out to be dirty, humanity will loose another 7 points.

sensual. I can't believe that I was in the top 10,000 return for the word sensual. Seriously. I should be.

will hines oklahoma makes me want to see the Will Hines I know play Curly.

whiskey tango foxtrot improve team just has an extra "e."

Del's Amazing Wood Thingamajig

(via Boing Boing)

Sing it!

After a weekend+ of Musical Improv, here is one last note:
If you have taken 301 Improv at UCB, you should take Eliza Skinner's 101 Musical Improv class. I plug this for selfish reasons. The more people who take it, the more classes they'll make available, the more advanced classes that will come up, the more I get to do stuff.

Do it.

Lessons Learned Recently

My instincts aren't always off.

It is easier for me to actually sing a song when I am playing a woman and that disturbs me.

I love the song Footloose just a bit too much.

The ice cream place down the street actually has good coffee.

I trust myself more than I trusted myself to.

Accepting compliments is much easier when you believe them... and sometimes believing them is just letting yourself be in the now.