Summer Fridays

Reminder:
Thank You, Robot's semi-twice monthly long form improv show is tonight.
Two great teams join us: ...For Richard Stands and The Stamp & Coin Club.
10:30. Under St. Marks Theater. 94 St. Marks Place. $6.

Join us a Grassroots Tavern afterwards.

Large Helical Device

(via Neatorama)

Republican National Convention

Here's an observation from Doug Gordon (fellow member of VEAL):

Here's what Rudy Giuliani said about Barack Obama at the RNC last night:

"But he's never run a city, never run a state, never run a business. He's never had to lead people in crisis. This is not a personal attack....it's a statement of fact - Barack Obama has never led anything."

I was listening to that and thought, "Gee, that sounds familiar." Well, here's what Rudy Giuliani said about about John McCain on November 4, 2007:

"[McCain] has never run a city, never run a state, never run a government. He has never been responsible as a mayor for the safety and security of millions of people, and he has never run a law enforcement agency, which I have done."

I tried hard to watch the convention last night but my patience wore out pretty quickly. I faded out during Giuliani when the audience started to chant "Drill, Baby! Drill!" I had to turn it off.

Palin held me for a bit. I liked how baby Trig suddenly appeared in Todd Palin's arms at the start of the speech then I realized all the kids had appeared at the same time. (As did Levi "Abject Lesson on Why to Use Condoms" Johnston. Man, I feel bad for that kid. Imagine you are 18. You have sex in a pick-up in March and she gets pregnant. After months of trying to figure out how to tell your and her parents (keeping in mind that her mom is bad ass scary, pro-life and fire-and-brimstone religious and the governor), you finally work things out. You're going to get married and keep the baby. Then, with a period of five days, you are being questioned by the RNC, having your unsafe sex practices talked about on every blog and news show and late night talk show. Next thing you know you're in the St. Paul Xcel center, just trying to smile. Kids, use a condom.) And I cracked myself up with a horribly offensive out loud comment when Palin spoke of being an advocate for people with "special needs." But then it was just becoming yet another narrative, followed by fear mongering.

I am so tired of the "narratives."

Things I Learned This Labor Day

• The game show Press Your Luck liked to focus on the face of the loser, capturing some of the most honest moments of defeat I have ever witnessed. (thanks to Adam B. for reminding me)
• When you reach under the waves and grab a palm-sized rock and it turns out that the rock has legs, it is freaky.
• The Michael Jackson video Smooth Criminal is the alpha and the omega of music videos. Try this at home: Open it up in YouTube and set the volume on YouTube to zero. Select any other song. Play both (starting the video at anytime). Enjoy. Harry Belafonte's Banana Boat song is a great choice (again, thank you Adam B.).
• Cops can be heart breaking.
• I still suck at volleyball but I dive for balls with gusto.
• Sometimes sleep is a lot more important to me than fun.
• Any car game can be enhanced with making people tell honest truths about themselves.
• I still love root beer floats.

Burn sauce

I went the beach on Sunday and Monday. I have forgotten how much I love to ocean. New York beaches tend to scare me because they are unfamiliar to the beaches I grew up with. But this weekend I went to a beach that was close. I still miss the the expanse of Southern California beaches and the waves (real waves) and the jellyfish still freak me out a bit. But it was close and I am grateful for the lack of tar. Yes, tar.

What I also forgot is that I am not the same 13 year old kid who tanned easily. Heck, maybe if you was going to the beach 3 times a week and getting sun on a regular basis I would still tan easily. Now I am (in the words of another) "old and pale." I am actually or and red and white, like a peppermint candy in grandma's purse. The pain is gradually going away but wearing socks is still painful. In fact, I seem to have neglected putting any sunscreen on my lower shins or it just washed off quickly in the water. Unclear. What I do know is that it feels like all of the skin on my lower shins is burned to the bone. If I lay down for five minutes and then stand up I scream in pain. I don't know what it is. Maybe the blood rushing back down, which makes me think that the veins and blood vessels down there are actually burned.

You will all be glad to hear that my ass and upper calves are still pure white.

25 snails and a girl

Schoolgirl smashes the world record as she let's 25 snails slide across her face.

Go, Tiana Walton! Go!

(via Boing Boing)