Sunday, December 31

I'm a monster

Happy Frakin' New Year, Interwebbynetubes!

Okay, friends and family and random readers. Have a good one tonight. Be safe, but not too safe. Take some chances. Tell that special someone what you've always wanted to tell them... whether that is "Oh, my, I've always wanted to kiss you" or "You damn bastard! Give me back that god damn CD you borrowed back in '97!" Well, that is up to you. Kick 2006 out on its ass with a nice wave and thank you and embrace 2007 like a the lover you never knew you always desired.

Saturday, December 30

Love Letters

Jeff Paul is an animator who went the extra mile when proposing to Natasha. He enlisted a 20 animators AND is animation students at CalArts to make this. It took three months. Then he brought her to the Parkway Movie Theater in Oakland, where he played the animation on the big screen in front of over 100 of their friends and family.

I love this stuff. Makes me warm and fuzzy.

He also has a sequel that they burned onto DVDs and sent out as wedding invintations.

Oh my god. I want a potato!

I am watching a bit of tv and an ad for Daisy Sour Cream came on. The jingle... "Things taste better with a dollop of Daisy... A dollop of Daisy... A dollop of Daisy." And a shot of a huge plop of sour cream unto a potato. That is so what I want. I want potato skins in cheese and beef and bacon and onions and sour cream.

And I want it now.

Yes, no point to this post except that I am a slave to tv advertising because I am going to run out the door right now and buy all the fixins'.

Yum.

Happy last few hour of 2006. It sure was a bitch, wasn't it?

To keep on hand for Monday morning

How Hangovers Work.

Hope you all have a glorious New Year's Eve and a not to painful New Year's Day and a mindblowing, fantastic, rewarding, warm, sexy, loving, pleasing, laugh filled, magic packed, crazy in a good way 2007.

Robot Suit

In reality, it sounds like a slight muscle assist to help the paralyzed rehabilitate. But this Japanese "robot suit" looks awesome and I if I were a superhero I'd get one.

(via Crave via Gizmodo)

Burn Me Elmo

I'm in a grouchy mood today. Just one of those things. I just have certain things that are a bit up in the air. It's fine, I just like knowing. Ah, well. It will work out or it won't. If it doesn't I am not worse off than I was before. In fact, the experience itself was worth it.

But it made me grouchy today. I also have no food in the house and I don't feel lke going shopping... but I will. Maybe pick up a movie.

So, in honor of my grouchy mood, I bring you Tickle Me Elmo Extreme on fire. Burn, Elmo. Burn and laugh.

Friday, December 29

Banned in NYC

From the NYPost.
Here it is (I don't know if some of these are actually banned or there was just an attempt to ban them.)
  • Trans-fats.
  • Aluminum baseball bats.
  • The purchase of tobacco by 18- to 20-year-olds.
  • Foie gras.
  • Pedicabs in parks.
  • New fast-food restaurants (but only in poor neighborhoods).
  • Lobbyists from the floor of council chambers.
  • Lobbying city agencies after working at the same agency.
  • Vehicles in Central and Prospect parks.
  • Cell phones in upscale restaurants.
  • The sale of pork products made in a processing plant in Tar Heel, N.C., because of a unionization dispute.
  • Mail-order pharmaceutical plans.
  • Candy-flavored cigarettes.
  • Gas-station operators adjusting prices more than once daily.
  • Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
  • Wal-Mart.
I can't verify all of the things on this list (well, I probably could, but I'm lazy today). But my usual weekend of driving through Prosepct Park, snacking on pit bulls smothered in transfats and stuffed with foie gras and wrapped in some Tar Heel bacon, while smoking peppermint cigarettes and beating clowns with my alumium bat is now all shot to hell.

Tiny Animals on Fingers

A cute cute cute photoset on Flickr. Tiny animals. Lots of bugs and frogs, but also little mammials. If you're feelin' a needed dose of "awwwwwwwww," click on through.

The Perry Bible Fellowship






I've had The Perry Bible Fellowship site bookmarked for a while. This morning I finally got caught u on their strips. 9 out of 10 are genius. The 10th will be transendent. The strips I've included here aren't even my favorites.

Thursday, December 28

Pat Baer

I just thought I would pimp out Pat Baer's podcast about the New York comedy scene. it is like pulling up a cozy chair next to a fire with some funny people not tryingto be funny and just talking about the NYC world of comedy... and other stuff. It's like a cup of hot chocolate with mini marshmellows.

Kid's Guitar Hero II: Cute Overload!

Here is Tristan rocking with his dad, trying out Ant Commandos' Shredder, which is designed for smaller rockers. Tristan may still be a bit too small for the buttons, but it is still pretty darn awesome.

(via Kotaku)

Wednesday, December 27

I'm coming

So, Brooklyn, I will be back there soon. I know how much you missed me. And I know I wasn't as attentive as I could have been before I left. I was spending a lot of time with Manhattan. I'm sorry. But I had a long talk with L.A. and I have cleared my head. I will do less running around, okay?

Keep the bed warm,
Love, SixSider

SantaCon in Antartica: Santartica!

This warms my heart. SantaCon/Santanarchy is celebrated way down towards the South Pole. Photo and the blog.

(via Boing Boing)

"Oh my! What a big metalic claw of death you have there!"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I am torn by the whole robot thing. On one hand, they're just cool. Sleek, hard, metal, tributes to man's appeality not to just recreate our owm image, but our minds as well (if not with 100% fidelity). On the other hand, they take our jobs and want to kill us all (yes, even your Roomba wants to suck the life from your body). And now they are seducing our women. (NSFW, although it is very mild.)

I know I shouldn't worry but I do. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't find this photos so appealing. Oh, robots. How can mortal men ever compete with your logical and murderous charms?

(I don't read Spanish, but Google's translation does give some good bits. For example, I was unaware of the 2005 porn movie Abducted by the Daleks. (Also NSFW, slighly less mind.) Too bad it's too late to ask Santa for a bootleg copy.)

(via Camille Javal)

Finnish Sausage Monster

I'm not even going to say anything about this one. Just I love SuperSizedMeals.com.

Link.

Tuesday, December 26

Klaus: Wacky German Forklift Driver

EDIT: 1/11/07. I have been in formed by YouTube that Klaus has been removed because it infringed on the copyrights older. So I ask Trigon to please post it somewhere I find some way to distribute it. Because it is genius. I heart Klaus.

This is the best forklift safety video in German that you will watch this year. It will inform you and keep you alive. I will have you cheering for Klaus and cursing him.

Oh, Klaus! What will we ever do with you?

(discovered by PappaSix)

Monday, December 25

The Pope wishes you a merry Christmas... and wants to eat the hearts of young boys

This is purely a comment on this photo of the Pope giving Christmas midnight mass. Nothing else. Really.

Sunday, December 24

On the eve of celebrating the virgin birth of of the son of the diety... I say, "What diety?"

While I consider myself agnostic (it's not that I don't believe god either exists or doesn't exist... I just believe you have no way of proving it to me), I tend to agree with atheists a lot more. Last year I posted Penn Jillette's "This I Believe" essay on the topic, which pretty much summerized my feelings.

Today I bring you a quicky article from the L.A. Times.

I love what historian Stephen Henry Roberts once said:
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Chew on this while you pray to your Baby Jebus.

McDonald's 1972


Yes, I'm just posting random stuff at this point. Just some holiday love for you.

I am loving being in L.A., even if 69 degrees and sun skies is anathema to Christmas in my brain. But I love my family so incredible deeply. It often makes my sad that I am so far away from them most of the time. But I love New York, too. So is the choices we must make.

So I send out good thoughts to you and your families and friend. Go ahead. Eat to excess. Drink too much. Get into fights about some perceived slight committed in 1997.

FSM: The Game

Not to the add to the controversy of the Left Behind video game, I bring you The Flying Spaghetti Monster game.

Reuters picks up Ellis's Second Life article

This is good news for those of us who follow Second Life and how it is the protoculture of the virtual metaverse of the future. (If that sentence made any sense to you, than you care about this. If you didn't, just move along.) Warren Ellis, author of such amazing comic books as Transmetropolitan and Global Frequency, has been writing a series of "Second Life Sketches" on his website since August. Now Reuters has picked it up.
“Second Life is not only the biggest digital art installation in the world, but potentially the most radical shift yet in the way communities are formed online, and possibly also the germ of the next great operating system,” Ellis said. “It’s not only a place where people get as strange as they can, but an incubator for the future.”

Ellis is probably the person giving Second Life the most serious thought... or at least the one writing about. If you are at all curious as to what all of this Second Life stuff is and what it might mean for your children, give Ellis's stuff a read.

(via Boing Boing)

And for a very special family tradition: Mail the hot dog

Two sisters mail a hot dog back and forth.

For 54 years.

The same hot dog.

It's heartwarming. And disgusting.

One Man vs. A Lot of Bees.

And this is why man discovered fire.

Oh, be quiet! Bees aren't cute.

9 Days of Judgement

And a very Cthulhu-mas to all of you. (Lyrics here, although you know it is best not to read if you mean to keep your sanity.)

Saturday, December 23

Really, I love the cute little animals

I've received some emails from readers concerned about the spate of animal death stories as of late. I can't tell you if there is a good reason for it. It is just that time of year.

But just know that I would never through a dead cat into the window at a McDonald's drive-thru. First, I prefer Jack-in-the-Box. Second, dead cats are really hard to throw.

One that note, Black Sheep.

Friday, December 22

Jet Blue & Nice TSAs

There is something about traveling with JetBlue that just changes my entire mood. First, my cabbie made fantastic time to JFK. Yes, I left the house at 5:45am but in New York you never know. Sometimes it just takes forever. He was also cheerful and friendly. Maybe it was just that he was just starting his shift. But somehow I think it was weird JetBlue Good JuJu.

I had gotten my boarding pass online at home but I was still checking one bag, so I expected at least some line and waiting. When I walked it, it was of course buzzing and crowded with holiday travelers... and some obvious add frustration because of storms in Denver and such. But the lines seemed to be moving quickly. I just wasn't sure what line to get into. Normally just finding someone to tell you where you need to go is a pain. Not at Jet Frackin' Blue. Not only is each counter staffed, but there are at least a dozen folks standing at the line entrances to help. A dozen! At least!

So one quickly directs me where to go to check my bag and I have to wait maybe 8 seconds before I'm at the counter. My bag is tagged and checked in under 3o seconds. I have been in the airport for under two minutes and my bag has been checked.

So off to security. This has been mildly problematic for me in the past because I share a name with someone on the Do Not Fly list. But that always gets hung up at check-in, so I figure I'm in the clear. Nope. See, I'm an idiot. Well, and idiot in NYC who uses his ID for 3 things: buying booze, occasionally to show when making credit card purchases, and getting on planes (oh, and the very rare getting into certain buildings). I don't drive with it because I live in NYC. I also somehow missed that it expired last March.

The TSA at the start of the security line catches it, gives me an apologetic sigh (Lady, no need to apologize... I'm the one who let it lapse and never noticed) and marks up my boarding pass with 4 large S's and some scribbles. The advantage of this is that I get to by pass the rest of the line (Yay!). It was short and moving quickly anyway. I go straight to the x-ray machine, go through and then get put into a glass box. It felt a bit like I was in a 50's tv gameshow sound proof booth and John Tuturro was about to out me as a cheat. In in a minute a very pleasant TSA agent led me to a table while a junior (and obviously a bit nervous) agent grabbed my stuff from the conveyor belt. They led me to a table and the senior agent went through my stuff and cleaned my laptop with a cloth on a stick (okay, maybe he was checking for explosives), while the agent McShakey-hands wanded me. But they were very nice and clear with their instructions and what they were doing. It also felt thorough. Short on some sort of plastic weapon attached to my yam sack (sorry, that is my current favorite euphemism) or inserted... well, where on 'inserts' things, I'd have a darn hard time getting anything through.

And it was quick. Maybe 4 minutes.

The food court was a bit swarmed, but Dunkin' Donuts had set up an extra coffee booth (medium only) at the back of their kiosk. So my waiting time to buy a coffee was under a minute. I then spent way to much on a thing of salted mix nuts. I've been craving nuts lately. I think I've recently cut my meat intake way down in a quest to eat healthier and I may be lacking proteins. Neither here nor there, really, just that it explains why I spent $6.49 on 9oz. of nuts. (They are tasty, though. Even the brazil nuts which I usually find dry and dusty.)

Anywhozits, the best think about flying with JetBlue before I've never even got on the plane? Free wi-fi. Free. Because they know the cost is negligible. And it makes me happy with my extreme lack of sleep over the last two days. (It occurs to me that sending the words "TSA," "security," and "explosives" might trigger something if sent through their system. Mmmmm. Let's see what happens.....)

Speaking of kitties...

How much change do you get with a dead cat for a Big Mac Value Meal?

I apologize. I'm in a mood tonight. Packing. Feeling antsy. Not about going to L.A.. I love going to L.A.. I just have somethings that I making me distracted.

January is going to be a crazy month. I can just tell.

Why The Wii Will Win: Adorable Edition

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Because of WiiKitty.com.

(via Kotaku)

Thursday, December 21

Cufflinks

I love Khrompf.. or Krompf... or Krohmpf... or Krumpht

My 2006 Movie List

It is that time of the year. Everyone gets to make their list. Far be it for me not to jump on the bandwagon. (Why is "jumping on the bandwagon" a bad thing? One, and band that travels in a wagon can use all the friends they can get. Two, they probably know where the party is. More the merrier!) Sadly this year I feel that I was super lax about seeing some of the best things out there. But I will just go with it.

Films I saw that I loved (in no real order):

The Science of Sleep
If there is one director working right now that seems to tap directly into my brain stem, my dreams, my way of seeing the world, it is Michel Gondry. The childlike wonder and aching sadness that only exists because of an even stronger sense of hope. And his use of practical special effects constantly amaze me with their simplicity and beauty. And his stories of love-that-doesn't-happen... sigh. Watch Sleep back to back with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and who'll get a glimpse of what's like in my head.

Casino Royale
I have always been a Bond fan by for so long I've walked out of them feeling empty. They've been feasts of cotton candy. I am also a fan of revisioning (which is not a real word) things. The reason I love the book Wicked. Casino Royale was EXACTLY was Bond needed. Daniel Craig captured a tortured soul of a cold hearted killer. And they managed to call out Bond misogyny and still make it hot. And thank you for making Bond fallible. For too long he had been to able to walk out of anything with is mood, body and tuxedo untouched. When Craig's Bond is washing off blood to get back to the poker game... that was the moment I knew this was a Bond I gave a shit about.

The Departed
I am not a huge Martin Scorsese fan. I am definitely NOT a Leonard DiCaprio fan. He's fine actor, but too often I just feel the weight of is performance and there is nothing natural about it. Not that he over acts, it's just something about him. But The Departed was such an exquisite dance of storytelling, performances and editing. Two men, trapped in their paths, knowing they were on the way to self-destruction, hurtling towards each other. I have yet to see the original, Internal Affairs, but it is now high on my list.

United 93
Not enough people have seen this movie, but hopefully with the Oscar buzz that will change. On the other hand, it is a movie that you should see when you feel you are ready to see it. It is raw and simple with out a single touch of melodrama. It is a call to not forget. Not to not forget that we are "at war" or whatever the hell it is we are at, but to not forget the emotion and feeling of that day. I wrote pretty extensively about my feeling right after seeing it here.

Happy Feet
Yes, the ending gets a little preachy. Yes, it is just a goofy little film about penguins, which are so 2005. But it is also a film so infused with joy. I was absolutely expecting to hate it but was so surprised. The music is used in wonderful witty ways, the animation is mind blowing, and it manages to shoot tap dancing the way tap dancing should be shot.

The Fountain
Here is movie that I can't quite shake. It is far from a perfect movie but it is also a movie that strives to something that may be unachievable. It is a glorious tone poem of a film, a rumination of love and life. Perhaps it's imagery can be over the top, but if you can let the film wash over you and filter into the corners of your brain, you will find yourself finding bits and pieces of it in your thoughts for weeks after.


Here are some that I really like for different reasons:

Superman Returns
Again, not perfect. But Bryan Singer managed to reboot the series, remove much of the campyness AND play homage to the first to Superman films all at the same time. Heck, it is in many ways a remake of the first film. Superman is an incredibly difficult character to deal with. He is basically a god. But Returns taps into his feelings of always being the outsider. I'm just happy when comic book characters get treated with respect (especially after the disaster of X-Men 3). One can only keep their fingers crossed that the Powers That Be look towards this and Batman Begins as how to do things right.

Shortbus
All the sex stuff aside, this is an almost cuddly love fable to New York and it's lost souls. If you analyze the film and it's characters it all begins to fall apart, but if you just let it be it will bring a grin to your face.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Yes. I said it. I really really liked Dead Man's Chest. I know this is not the common feeling. What I think everyone feels missing is that sense of surprise and discovery that came from seeing Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow for the first time. But for me they managed to play the story and the characters in smart and intelligent ways... well, as smart as one can expect in a film like this. I know many people were turned off by the heightened fantasy aspects but I dug it. Maybe that is just a matter of taste. And the action set pieces... come on, people! They were Rube Goldberg-esque gems!

Dave Chappelle's Block Party
Just fun. It is not music I tend to listen to but it carried me right along. I felt just included in the party. (Also directed by Michel Gondry by the way.)

Movies I still needed to see that I somehow missed or have yet to come out:

The Prestige
Victorian illusionists. Tesla. Dark sense of foreboding. Not sure why I didn't make it to this one.

Brick
I heard so many good things about this one and I tried to see it numerous times. Noir is my big ol' cup o' tea.

Children of Men
This opens tomorrow I believe and sounds like just the sci-fi that I like. It is also tearing up all of the other top 10 lists out there.

Idiocracy
Mike Judge's sci-fi comedy that was abandoned by the studio. Pray to go it makes it to DVD or this might turn into a lost treasure.

The Queen
Again, I tried to see it a few times. I don't know why I am still fascinated by Princess D.'s death since it had no effect on me at the time. There was a band in Minneapolis called Iron Lung with a song about it. I forget what the song was called. If anyone knows where I could find it, I would be grateful.

Pan's Labyrinth
Looks great. Reminds me that I need to return my DVD of Labyrinth that never worked.

Vovler
Was recommended to me so many times by people I respect that I feel I have to see it now. It almost feels like a chore at this point.

This is where the bar as lowered for turning over security in a Iraq to the Iraqis

Iraqi soldiers eat frogs, rabbit at handover ceremony.
Iraqi soldiers bit the heads off frogs and ate the heart of a rabbit as signs of courage on Wednesday at a ceremony to transfer Najaf province, home to one of Shi'ite Islam's holiest shrines, from U.S. to Iraqi control.

A U.S. general called the transfer, under a plan to gradually hand over security and allow the withdrawal of 135,000 American troops, a major step in strengthening the Iraqi government as it seeks to stop sectarian violence.
Well then. We can move along now.

Tuesday, December 19

Moderating comments

I don't know if anyone noticed, but some time back I switched to approving all comments. Sorry about that. I just got tired of having to erase a series of comments dealing with Nazis and porn. (Those two word should drive some traffic!)

Right now I am in a coffeeshop listening in on two women in their late 20's, clearly on a first date. They were introduced by a friend and are both awkward and nervous. It is very sweet. I feel a bit bad listening in, but is very very hard not to.

Support the Troops! Beat them with a stick!

The whole idea of piñatas is so weird. You usually take an animal, make it cute and colorful, stuff it with tasty candy, and then you smash it to bits and eat the inside. It is so close to burning something in effergy.

Sometimes they break away from animals. I've seen tons of beloved cartoon characters. I will admit that the idea of beating SpongeBob to death is appealing, but I'm not the market for these things.

But who is the market for the Army Humvee piñata? Really?

Update: They have removed the product. The page is still there, but they are no longer selling it. So either someone came to their senses... or they sold out.

(via Boing Boing)

Evil Dead the Musical

I've been wanting to see this show since I first heard about it a few years ago. So I am super super little boy excited that I am going on Jan 6th. Yay! Thank you, ttractor. But she has never seen the movie so here I present some clips, so she can get a taste.

Warning! Graphic horror and gore. And a chistled chin.

Worst Christmas Gift EVER

Monday, December 18

The Brick Testament

Those who know me know that I am fascinated by the Bible, in a way only a hardcore agnostic can be. Why? I don't know. In part because it is tied to so much Western literature and storytelling. There are also so many stories to be had. But a lot of it is that it is such a mess of contradictions and oddities. It still reads like a book in the middle of being edited. Or what a wiki-system would create.

I also love Lego.

So it is no surprise that I regularly take a spin through The Brick Testament, an illustrated Bible told through Lego. It is getting amazingly complete.

Sunday, December 17

"Who's Streets? Santa's Streets!"

(photo by 3rae)

SantaCon is just insane. It is like Halloween but you don't have to worry about making friends. Everyone is your friend. Maybe it is the whole conformist thing. You're all dressed relatively the same. You know everyone's name ("Santa"). You are all headed in the same direction. That is until the last series of stops. That's when folks start to break away. Be it too drunk, or too tired, or heading to another party, or having found that 'special' other Santa, or any combination of the above.

I'm not going to go into too much detail on my day/night. Just assume that I had a great time. Karaoke. Dancing a few jigs. A toast or two or five. Good talks. Good humor.

I do have to remember next year to eat.

I would show you the pictures I took, but my camera went missing at some point. Sigh. Casualty of too much X-mas spirit.

Friday, December 15

SantaCon, Tomorrow

Don't forget. Check the site later tonight for where it starts.

You can also sign up to get text messages to get updates during the day about the mobs location.

(Oh, and Liquid Courage tonight. Midnight. Me. Four and half minutes.)

My New Favorite Game: Google Patent Search

I love old patents. There is something just wonderful about hand drawn technical drawings, be it Disney's redesign of the Tomorrowland Rocket ride from 1994...
...or a Centrifugal Exerciser from 1969...

...or jumper shoes from 1939...
Google's Patent Search application is just a wealth of greatness.

Thursday, December 14

Past Tense

It is interesting how are memories are so slippery. Events that happened so long ago that you barely think of them can come back is such tiny nudges. And it is so curious at what you end up remembering.

I ruminate on how distracted we has a society have become. We are constantly in a flood of input. Not that it is anything truly different from say living in turn of the century London. It's just that we now have a massive amount of control over what we have access to at any moment. I have hundreds of channels, an iPod with 2000 plus songs, video games, the internet. I go to the store and there are at least a dozen different types of toilette paper. And somewhere in my brain I have stored bits and pieces about all of those choices. Even the toilette paper.

And back to the internet. My god, the options it gives me. It is no wonder we no longer remember phone numbers and just store them on our phones. It is a wonder I have room to store anything in my brain.

But the internet is a great instant recall device, even when you don't expect it. A tiny poke and a tiny nudge and suddenly a whole chunk of my past comes flooding back. But after years and years of absence, it is now viewed in a whole new light. Re-contextualized, to use a buzzword. And it does seem clearer. Cleaner, even.

It is probably just that I am older. But that is the thing about getting older. Since it happens one day at a time, one second at a time, you rarely notice... like the frog in the frying pan. But when a window into the past is thrown open, you can see the difference, see how you've changed. Like opening a Highlights magazine to discover some one has already circle the differences. And can I mix any more metaphors tonight?

Anywhozits, just a thought. I often feel so young and like I've not made any progress. But then I'm shown who I was... and I realize I was a complete idiot back then.

Love to all. Just felt like saying that. Love to all.

Crichton makes critic a child rapist

Back in March, Michael Crowley, journo for The New Republic, wrote an article critical of Michael Crichton. I have not read it (subscriber only), but I am guessing it didn't deserve this response.

In Crichton's new book, Next, he has a character named Mick Crowley. Let's look at a section:
Alex Burnet was in the middle of the most difficult trial of her career, a rape case involving the sexual assault of a two-year-old boy in Malibu. The defendant, thirty-year-old Mick Crowley, was a Washington-based political columnist who was visiting his sister-in-law when he experienced an overwhelming urge to have anal sex with her young son, still in diapers. Crowley was a wealthy, spoiled Yale graduate and heir to a pharmaceutical fortune. …

It turned out Crowley’s taste in love objects was well known in Washington, but [his lawyer]—as was his custom—tried the case vigorously in the press months before the trial, repeatedly characterizing Alex and the child’s mother as “fantasizing feminist fundamentalists” who had made up the whole thing from “their sick, twisted imaginations.” This, despite a well-documented hospital examination of the child. (Crowley’s penis was small, but he had still caused significant tears to the toddler’s rectum.)
Anal rapist of small children AND a small penis. Now that is a classy classy response.

(via Wonkette)

Gravid Water Tonight

Okay, I will keep shilling for this show until you have all seen it.

Tonight (Thusday). 9:30pm. UCB. Gravid Water. There is a great cast tonight: Dan Bakkedahl, Tara Copeland, Michael Delaney, Christina Gausas, Kate Hess, Jonathan Kaplan, Anthony King, Stephen Ruddy, Ptolemy Slocum, Shelly Stover, and Beth White.

Sadly, I will not be making it. But that shouldn't stop you from going. It is fascinating and has often come close to making me pee. In a good way.

Wednesday, December 13

Soy: The Gaying of America

Jim Rutz has a from what I can tell is a crazyman rant about how soy milk and soy products are making kids gay. Yep. Making kids gay. In fact that is the title of his article: "Soy is making kids 'gay.'"

I don't want to be knee jerk and I have no idea what he is basing his info on. Maybe estrogens in soy are a danger to growing kids. He is certainly not the first to cover this story. Heck, maybe that is why the Democrats took back the House and the Senate.

But I just love the title: Soy is making kids 'gay.'

(via PapaSix)

Search Term Poetry

I was just checking out my blog's web stats. I like to see what seaches I have popped up on:
  • fraggle from for myspace
  • boy who cried wolf boyscouts
  • hot pocket myspace background
  • beckett shut off valve broke
  • geek holy grail
  • hot scene of making love in bed
  • paranoid show
  • twang fish
  • white house sugar cookie
  • battlestar galactica slash
  • yams in papau new guinea
  • hot pocket improv
  • incurable allure of carrots (which is actually the title of an entertaining blog... they also now have a podcast... I haven't listened to it yet, but I am, well, curious)
  • scrotal suspension picture
Lovely. Just lovely. Some of these folks surely found on my blog what they were looking for. Others surely not (no pictures of "scrotal suspension pictures" here... sorry). I hope they had better luck elsewhere).

Tuesday, December 12

All Hail Hypnotoad

I am an unabashed Futurama fan. It was absolutely the cartoon most geared towards me (Venture Bros. is a close second... very close). I was saddened when it went off the air and even more saddened by Fox's tactic of not canceling it and just keeping it in limbo for so long.

So I've been quite happy since it was announced earlier this year that they were making new episodes for either DVD or Comedy Central or both (too bad Adult Swim could get there hands on it since they deserve the credit of keeping the show alive). David X. Cohen has a quicky interview over on Toy Fair. (How cool is it to have "X" as your middle initial? I know he probably just did that because there were other David Cohens in the Screenwriters Guild or whatever, but it is still darn cool.)

And I am now über-süpergëeky excïted that they are planning a 22 minute all Hypnotoad episode for the DVD. Thank you, Mr. Cohen. You have been reading my dreams again.


(via AICN)

The Interwebtubes

I love the internet. (I also refuse to capitalize it, like Blogger spell check insist that I do. (And yes, contrary to the evidence, I do occasionally use the spellchecker... when I remember.)) Like where else could I find these glorious Simpsonized versions of the Battlestar Galactica characters? Apparently quirkybird first drew this fantastic Six and Baltar and then went off to draw the rest of the cast. (I love her many faces of Boomer, but I think her Starbuck is too chunky. Kara Thrace is buff and tight, not some lesbian mechanic.)

But the internet does offer a dangerous sense of security. It feels like a wonderful void into which you can throw all of your thoughts. And it seems like if you aren't direct, how can anyone ever distinguish that it is you or that anyone you right about will ever find it if they don't have something specific to search for. i mean, there is so much out there. So much to sort through.

But the fact is that even with so much out there, it is very very easy to find exactly what you are looking for with just being creative with your search terms.

Subconsciously I think that is why I really don't hide my identity. I don't use my real name, but it would take about five minutes to figure out who I was, even if you had no idea what name to look for and had absolutely zero "hacking" skills. Just click click, there I am. I don't know, maybe that is what makes me careful. Because god knows there are times I wish it was totally anonymous. There are thoughts I had, things I would love to share with anyone who cared. But I can't. If, say I hooked but with some random person and it was fun and airy and was the first time I hooked up with no consequences and both of use seemed absolutely fin and dandy about just letting the one night be the one night, I couldn't. Because I know the consequence of said post would lead to thoughts and questions of others and remove all airiness from the event.

(This is totally a hypothetical. It is the best best case/worst case scenario that I came up with.)

I would be easy to think I was private and save. There times I have had to think twice about posting something, knowing it could be misinterpreted, like saying I had a crush on Ellie Kemper. But I just have to hope that it is taken the way it is meant (an improv crush is not a romantic crush, and, besides, everyone has a crush on Ellie Kemper).* It is appealing thought. But no matter how private and untraceable you think it is, it isn't.

And I like being found. It is nice to be remembered and searched for.

Anywhozits, I understood this, but didn't full know it until recently. As they say on Hill Streets Blues, "Be careful out there."

*Note: This is a blatant attempt to drive web traffic. "Ellie Kemper" is the third most searched term on my site, after "MIT Zelda" and "German spray-on condom."

New & Old & Things I Should Do

I added a new feature, which I am sure you are all super excited about. (Sorry. I had my SARCASM LOCK key on.) But over to the right I have a UP NEXT FOR ME thingy. Just a quick guide to tracking me down. Might cut down on me making numerous posts about the same topic.

For example, right now I am going to remind you that I'll be trying out a sketch at Liquid Courage at UCBNY theater at 11:59pm this Friday (December 15th). Or that on Saturday (December 16th) is SantaCon and that you should get your butt to Halloween Adventure or other retail costume location a pick up a Santa suit.

I have also cut some the links out of my links lists. No matter how much I may respect those folk, I if they don't post regularly, they don't get a slot. (Side note: the little thrill of finding yourself blog roller by folks you don't even know is quite nice. For example Behind Closed Doors. I don't think I know any early 20's fashion industry folks in western New York... but there they are.)
Man, I keep meaning to write mini-reviews of Happy Feet and Casino Royale. And I was graciously taken to see Spring Awakening: A New Musical by a good friend and I should write something about that. Or I could write about how improv practice has been going. Or the fact that I had a another nice contact from a long lost good friend through MySpace. One of my favorite people so that is good. I also keep meaning to write a massive "Why Second Life Is the Future... for Good or Ill" post. And then there is my long delayed Gears of War review. Or a "When does a practice group become a real group and who gets to decide who gets to stay." Or "Podcasting: Harder Than It Seems."

But time is short and I am a busy busy boy. Laundry! On to laundry!

What the Cheneys Did This Weekend

From Craigslist:
if you "lost" the leather c***ring with the brass snaps in the bathroom of Bldg 56 of the Naval Observatory, contact me to reclaim. i'm dying to know who you are.
(via Wonkette)

Monday, December 11

Why The Wii Will Win... in a street fight

Yeah, that's a heck of a shiner.

There are two lessons to be learned from this story:

1) Booze and the Wii is dangerous and may get you brought up of spousal abuse charges.

2) Look at her smile! Clearly she still loves the Wii and the Wiimote even after getting whacked in the face with one by her boy.

Liz, you rock!

(via Joystiq)

Sunday, December 10

SimTrolls

This is going to make no sense to anyone except a very very few. And those who will understand it, already know about it. But I am enjoying it so I share.

I have taken members of my Halo 2 clan and stuck them into The Sims 2. Here is their story. Yes, there is a level of geekiness to this that boggles the mind. Again, I don't expect any of you to get any of this.

It has made me think that I would love to come up with an improv form that uses The Sims (or another video game). I have some ideas but nothing solid. Anyone knows if this has been tried?

Friday, December 8

Our President... doing a 'bit' with his dog

"Barney's Holiday Extravaganza"

Click on the right for the movie.

I... oh, there is nothing to say. Really. The President is talking to his dog. And Barney is no Fala.

Halo 3: Instant Karma

John Lennon died 26 years ago today. And while some will whince at the mash-up of one of his songs and a violent video game, it does work amazingly well. One of my interweb friends made this using the Halo 3 tv ad that was broadcast this last Monday.

Thursday, December 7

Eat your fruit and veggies!

Magnolia Thunderpussy (hey, I just report the facts) has put up a glorious collection of old fruit and vegetable ads on Flickr. I included the lower one because I am immature.

(via Jason Tester via Boing Boing)

Barcade Child's Play Event

For all of you who missed it.. you missed it. And you missed a glorious night. If you happen to be a geek. Oh, it was a geek fiesta!

First, as always, Barcade had a might selection of brews. And some fine arcade machines. (I have lost all of my Q*bert skills, but my Tapped skills are still HOT.)

And then there was the auction. They clearly had more swag then they new what to do with. While I didn't win the 9 cases of some microbrew (I forget which... but NINE CASES!) or either of the custom Guitar Hero controllers (and, oh, those were fantastic controllers! Real electric guitars but all PS2ed!), I did get a fair amount of swag myself. School Tycoon (okay, whatever), some Good/Bad/Ugly/&Hilary diecut political cards (okay, don't understand either), a copt of Import Tuner Challenge for the 360, The Will Eisner Companion, and some Invader Zim display figures (which are pretty awesome). They were trying to get rid of stuff quick. I also got handed so snazzy shot glasses that I passed to the girl behind me because she hadn't won anything (her breasts were "unlucky"... long story). Much swag just got thrown into the audience.

And then there was the Guitar Hero II tournament. Wow! Most of the head-to-heads were blowouts (including the 13 minute final set to Free Bird). But there were some close battles. It is pretty amazing being with 100 folks cheering on two folks rockin' to a video game. But the most amazing geek moment was when two people selected Trogdor to play. There was cheering and screaming and singing along. Beer plus video games plus heavy metal plus internet flash cartoon plus kick ass dragon equals heaven.

And it was all to help sick kids. Can't go wrong with that! Again if you missed it (you know who I am talking about), you missed a very special night. Unless you were there and I missed you in the press of bodies. But I looked! And you weren't there. Sigh.

Tuesday, December 5

The Lost Wii Warnings


As a follow up to the warnings in the Wii's Japanese manual, Iconfactory has made some of their own.

(via Kotaku)

Jolly St. Nick Is Darn Scary

As I am finding myself referencing practically everything she posts, I realized that I have to give Lukira a slop on the links list.

She currently has a wonderful, get in the spirit for SantaCon slide show of photos of kids scared of Santa. The photos were sent in by readers to SouthFlorida.com, Sun-Sentinel.com and Chicago Tribune a few years back.

So much stuff to do!

I had a great rehearsal of something new. It was just–

Wait. Let me start again. There is just so much stuff going on right now, that I don't even know how much I'm going to be able to post. Let's go over all of the things you can find me at in the coming days.

Today (Tuesday, Dec. 5th): I shall be hitting Harold Night at UCB. Some fine teams shall be one stage. At 8pm you have T.R.U.C.K.S. and then Beverly Hills. Personally, I think Beverly Hills has the highest "sexy" quotiant of any other team right now. They just drip sexy. Then there is Creep and 1985. Creep has Angeliki George, Ryan Karel and Silvija Ozols who are all amogst my current favorites. Yes, Silvija is my current improv crush.

On Wednesday, I shall be going to Barcade for the Child's Play Fünde Razor. I will be the one losing at Guitar Hero. If that isn't your cup of tea, you should head to UCB at 11pm for a free show of some awesome sketch comedy... Hot Sauce Sells Out. Michael Showalter will there.

Thursday I am going to... you know, I don't know what I am going to. It is a mystery secret plan. I have not been told the details. I am to wear buiness casual.

Then there are meetings, gatherings, plans, and other such that who are not privy to.

But lets flash forward to Friday, Dec. 15th. You want to know where you want to be at midnight? (When I say midnight of Dec. 15th, I mean Friday, Dec. 15th, 11:59pm, just to be clear.) You will want to be at UCB again. Liquid Courage. You will want to see me perform a sketch of my writing. Me and my friend Vin performing. J Bob directing. It is some darn funny stuff. And it is free! Comedy! Drama! Violence! Me with a bad british accent!

Good good times.

And the next day is SantaCon. Wonderfully tasty SantaCon.

Monday, December 4

The not so fun side of the Wii


Over at Kotaku they have some lovely images from the Wii manual. Your standard what not to do. Like whacking your friend in the face. Or eating it. Or pouring a whole bottle of orange soda on it. Or storing it with your crack.

Sunday, December 3

Look! More stuff I want!

The cutest plush Lovecraft toys ever! Just looking at them drive me insane... with cuteness!

More Why the Wii Will Win Vids

Because this lady is just a bit crazy. But I love her for it.

And the thing I've been waiting for... Moms playing Wiis!


So I apparently look like Margaret Atwood

(via Strangely Compelling Blog)

Good B-Days, Great Practices & Secret Meetings

Last night I went to NaNWriMo friend Jeremy's birthday party. I was tired and a touch cranky when I got there but quickly started having a great time. This sounds the tiniest bit pathetic, but I am getting a lot better at meeting new people. If improv has done nothing for me, it was made me more confident chatting in bars. I think I may have even flirted! Yes! The shock of it all! (Of course, I may be wrong. I'm so out of practice that I'm not sure I recognize "flirting" anymore.)

I say Jeremy is NaNoWriMo friend but he is now an improv friend. I met him doing NaNo last year (although we only really talked at the afterparty and a post-NaNo gathering). But I re-met him while attemding a make-up improv class (for the class I missed going to Mexico). It's good too because he makes me laugh.

Last week's Sunday practice was a bit of a bummer. We were all off. Actually, I can make no claims for anyone else. I was off. (Most of the consenus was that we were all off... although I thought Larry was on.) Todays practice was better. Much better. I felt a out of my head and just had fun. I also felt like I reconnected with some ideas I had forgotten... Keep it simple. Be specific. No need to go to crazytown. All of these things I've known, but I haved been doing them. Don't try as hard. Stop focusing so hard on game. Play it real. That is the big on. Play it real.

Tonight I went to a meeting. I can't talk about it. Exciting stuff though. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. Sorry.

Crayons!

Peter Goldlust can sure to fun stuff with crayons!

(via Lukira)

Saturday, December 2

My RSS feeds have asploded!

Something funny went on with my RSS feeds in the last 24 hours. Not all of them, just some. But they keep refreshing everything each time they add a story to a particular site. Gizmodo is the worst. There is one story that is now listed in my feed 22 times. I hope it is temporary.

Sketchfighter 4000 Alpha

I started playing the demo of Sketchfighter 4000 Alpha yesterday. Man, is that just a flashback into my own head! I loved drawing out dream video games on sketch paper when I was a kid. Pages and pages of this stuff, all the time making the noises just under my breath. My only complaint is the music because I didn't spent my childhood in an elevator.

Sorry, Window Users, Mac OS only. I do hope they make this into an Xbox Live Arcade game. It is perfect for it.

(I also got Sneak King from BK for $3.99. I'll have a review up soon.)

Oh, Blogger! You make me sad.

Blogger is having issues right now. All of the handy featues gone bye-bye. I was going to talk about goin to Liquid Courage and talk about catching the second half of Death By Roo Roo. Ah well. I didn't have that much to say anyway.

Friday, December 1

Four Eyed Monsters (yes, I am still pushing)

I know I pimped this on Monday, but deserves repeating: go see this film. It opens today at Cinema Village. I plan to go see again (although god know when I'll get the time). They even got a good minireview in the New York Times.

This is TRUE indie film. I know how obnoxious that sounds, but it is real. Not to diss the Fox Searlights of the world, but this is as about as indie as you get before you are watching a 12 year olds Star Wars lightsaber battle vid posted on YouTube. (Not that I am comparing Four Eyed Monsters with YouTube vids... or saying that some of those fan made lightsaber fights aren't farckin' awesome... I mean have you seen this one? (and I just found this Star Wars fanfilm while looking for the lightsaber one: Under A Tusken Sun... it's sweet (oh, hell... if I'm posting fanfilms, I would be remiss to not post the alpha-omega of Star Wars fans for the two of you who may have not seen it - Troops))).

Anywhozits, go see it.

More things I want

I want these Cold War Unicorns! Who wouldn't? Commie vs. Freedom.

Or how about The Avenging Unicorn Playset? You get to impale a mime. It has interchangable horns.

Horrified B-Movie Victims. Make some Oobleck and you can re-enact The Blob.

Shakespeare's Den has just replaced ThinkGeek as my favorite online store. Although I still want a USB Rocket Launcher.

Asteroid's Revenge

Here's a very simple flash game: Asteroid's Revenge. It's just like Asteroids... except now you are the big rock taking out those annoying ships. I mean, what did you ever do to them? Just floating around with your rock-homies, mindling your own business. And then the damn ship flys in and starts blowing you up! What up with that?!?

I love the twist. I just wish that when you got it, you broke up into smaller pieces and not just get smaller. Not sure how you would control the extra pieces. I would just be 'truer' to the original.

I hope there are more of these. Space Invaders from the invaders PoV. Playing a ghost from Pac-Man. I always wanted to play a game from the humans that you rescue in Stargate Defender.

(via Plasticbag via Boing Boing)

CageMatch upsets and the cool kids table

So after Mr. Little's standup last night (Yay, Matt Little! "Kool-Aid Vagina" killed me), we went to the CageMatch quarter finals a UCB. Two great teams, Mailer Daemon vs. Project Improviser. It was close. Project had a great show, Mailer had a good show. But a good show for Mailer is still great. Came down to two votes. Project won. I don't want to start any controversy, but I know of a couple of folks who had lost their voting slips.* I can't guarantee how they would have voted... but I think it would have been even closer.

I voted for Mailer, but it was the first CageMatch that I really had to think about it.

*I wrote "voting slips" without even thinking about the fact that there is a word for that... "ballots."

Afterwards, we ended over to the UCB home bar. While I adore my Sugar Cookie folks, they were all a touch drunker than I was. Actually I was stone sober. Who know those times when you are with folks and they all seem to be on another plane as you, and try as you might you just can't get on the same page as them? Sigh. I get that feeling a lot with my team. Well, not a lot and not when performing. Maybe it is the age thing. No, it is just me.

You see, I am shy. Very very shy. I look for approval, even from friends. I have spent most of my life feeling like I was on the edge of circles, never in the core. I realize this is me, but it has always affected me. Never in on the inside joke as it were. I am working hard to correct that.

So last night I decided to be brave. Okay, brave for me. I just walked up to the table with one of our coaches (our main coach, actually) and asked if I could join them. I expected to be cautiously allowed to sit and then I would sit there silently, finish my gin and tonic, and then just melt into the night.

But no! I actually felt accepted. There I was, at this table of incredibly funny and talented people. Me, just a lowly, not quite level 400 student. Me, shy as all get out. There were "bits" that I got involved in. There was talking shop. Yes, I spent some of it just listening quietly, trying to absorb. But I also felt like this was a world were I just fit. It probably happens to everyone.

The night made me feel 100% about the direct I am heading.

So, just a thanks to Ben for being just welcoming and a congratz for his career with the Mets. And to Nate S., I will try to make the blog less boring (just not this morning). And, Silvija, I didn't get a chance to praise you. I didn't mean to throw you off with the Nazi comment. I just watch you closely because you always make me laugh. (Not in a stalker way. Seriously, I don't know where you live.) And, Will H., thank you for answering my question about the metaphor initiation. That has been bugging me for a month and you knew EXACTLY what I was thinking about before I even said it. And just thanks to UCB for being UCB. Yes, you are a cult. But you Kool-Aid tastes so darn good.

And thanks to Sugar Cookie for getting me to come out. I really do adore you guys.

Oh, I also touched Horatio Sanz's butt.

Thursday, November 30

Video Game Motivational Poster

Over in the NeoGAF foums they've been posting video game motivational posters. They're using one of those nifty generator tools. Good fun.

105,365

I'll be going to Julep to celebrate. I will NOT be drinking a lot. But I will have one mint julep and sip it like a southern gentleman.

Wednesday, November 29

Fünde Razor: Come Rock for Sick Kids

Barcade in Brooklyn is having a charity event for Child's Play on Wednesday, December 6th.

No cover! From the site:
  • Play Guitar Hero on a giant screen!
  • Drink some of New England's finest beers! In cups!
  • Play classic stand-up arcade games by the bushel!
  • Win one of our dozens of ROFL RAFL prizes, including a... Okay, we're still working on this year's prizes.
I have still never been to Barcade but will go on Wednesday. Meet me there. I have never played Guitar Hero but come out and go head-to-head with me! It's for the sick kids!

The Preacher coming to HBO

(Okay, people. Stop leading me to cool stuff today. I need to get to work, not write 300 words only to be torn way to post in the ol' blog.)

Garth Ennis and Steve Dillion's brilliant comic book Preacher is being developed for HBO.

If you are unfamiliar with Preacher, it is the tale of Jesse Custer, a down-and-out Texas preacher, who is possessed by Genesis, the bastard child that came from the coupling of a demon and an angel. Genesis had escaped from being imprisoned in Heaven. (You see, God abandoned Heaven.) The possession grants Custer with huge power, perhaps to rival God himself. Including the ability to command people to do whatever he says. A memorable seen early on has Custer telling a sheriff to "Go fuck yourself." And the sheriff does. He has to... um... cut it off first, but he does.

Custer goes to search for answers with the help of his old girlfriend Tulip and the heavy drinking Irish vampire Cassidy. Along the way they cross the Saint of All Killers, secret Papal organizations, scary Deliverence-esque family members, a Kurt Corbain-esque youth (if Kurt had been less talented and hadn't succeed in his shotgun suicide and only had horribly deformed his face... getting the nickname Arseface... and then become a happy optimistic fellow), and the totem spirit of John Wayne.

Imagine Buffy meets The Davinci Code meets Kerouac meets The Hills Have Eyes meets The Prophecy, written by Hunter S. Thompson, The Marx Brothers, and Thomas Aquinas, and directed by Tarantino.

Thank God (or whoever) that this is being sent to HBO.

Spray on Condom

(I really need to get back to the novel but...)

A German company is testing a spray on condom. Spray it on your unit, a few seconds later it solidifies into latex shell. The site is in German, so I have to rely on Google's translation:
"The advantages of the spray condom are obvious: it is easily and fast applicable, adapts to each Penisgrösse and form individually and offers apart from stretcher comfort, optimal protection with the sexual intercourse. Damage by transport or sun exposure belongs then exactly the same to the past like the question of the disposal: The natural rubber product decomposes and becomes humus."
Penisgrösse? Humus?

Apparently they are looking for volunteers for the testing phase right now. So if you live in Germany and you don't mind testing something on your willy, give them a call. Be sure to report back here (NDA be damned).

(via Gizmodo)