Before I start let me be clear that I love stories of New York. I love the city's history and the impact it has had on America (heck, the world's) collective consciousness. I love hearing about what was where and what happened and what it was like. I am (in general) against ripping down old buildings and replacing them with monstrosities of reflecting glass.But there is a type of New Yorker that annoys the hell out of me. When I hear them talk, I grind my teeth and want to slap them silly.
New Yorkers who start every thing with "Remember when..." and end it with "...it's horrible now." They tend to be older (but not always) and are so rooted in memory and nostalgia that (1) anything after a certain point in time just isn't "New York" and (2) seem to have erased anything bad from their brain cells. They ramble nonstop on the fine details of the past, swimming (or drowning) in what they view as some sort of New York Golden Age. No detail is too small to recount as if layering on remembrance upon remembrance will some how convince the listener that, yes, everything has gone to hell now.
The stereotype of this is the New Yorker who refuses to get over the fact that the Dodgers moved to Los Angeles. This is the reason I hate* Jonathan Schwartz of WNYC radio. I love the music he plays but when he starts talking, I start to throw things. Once he had a monologue that went something like this:
"The trumpet player on that jazz ditty was Joseph Finkle. There was a shortstop of the Dodgers... the Brooklyn Dodgers, not the fake Dodgers, those were the good Dodgers, back when baseball was baseball and America was America... there was a shortstop for the real Dodgers of the name Joseph Finkle. That was a grand time. I remember going to Ebbets Field... that was a true baseball stadium when they knew what baseball was and how to build stadiums and popcorn used to taste like real popcorn. I remember the peanuts. They tasted better back then..." (This went on for three minutes until...) "Oh, wait. The shortstop was named Joseph Franklin. Well, here's a song from 1951, when music was actually music."
You might think I'm exaggerated but I'm not. Okay, a tiny bit.
I shouldn't let this bother me but I always have problems with people who don't realize that the world changes. Things change, people change, cities change. There is bad now, there was bad then. No "progress" is not the end all and be all, but change is a part of life. This is not a hard concept to grasp. I run into this issue about lots of things, not just New York. Books, TV, movies, improv, government, relationships, people, etc, etc.. Often it is clear their memory is just faulty. I would never want to taint that memory. What you experienced in your youth has a special place. My memory of seeing Star Wars when it first came out FAR exceeds the actual quality of that movie. My recollection my first kiss with Amy Nation must be far greater that the actual fact. But realizing that memories are their own thing is important.
What set me off on this today? I was sitting in Park Slope, drinking an ice coffee and doing the Sudoku in today's Metro, when the conversation between two well dressed men n their sixties at the table next to be drift into my ears. Here are some bits and pieces:
•"Do you remember Macy's? When it was a full block and had wooden escalators? That was a store! I once went there to buy caviar. You can't do that now, I'm sure. And the main floor used to be larger. When my mom took me there is was something special, not like it is now. They used to have restaurants."
•"I don't know about these natural gas buses. Trolleys! Why did they ever get rid of trolleys? They were fast cross town than any bus is now. Some places still have trolleys. They call then 'light rail' now."
•"Do you remember when the avenues were two-way? Oh, yes. They ruined the avenues when they became one-way. Especially 5th Avenue. The balance is all off. There is too much traffic now. Too many cars. Yes, they ruined it by making it one-way."
•"Stores have these big gates on them. Why is that? All these gates and bars. It's like the Holocaust."
•"See that car? [points to a VW passing by] They just don't make American cars like they used to. It's so ugly. The curves are all wrong."
Later...
•"Did you try that stuff yet? No, I've been to busy to get high. It's really good. Just take a small hit tonight. I think I will."
*I only hate two people in the world. Jonathan Schwartz and I guy I used to work with four years ago who, though his own stupidity, almost killed me on three or four occasions.
