Saturday, June 3


I am not a fan of FanFiction. I do enjoy mocking it. But on a dare, I wrote a short piece based on LOST. It is called "Love Song."

"Hey! Hey! I'm here! Here I am!"

He called out into the jungle, again and again. But yet again there was no response. He was truly alone.

When was the last time I saw some? he thought. How long has it been? He ached so bad to see someone, to feel the touch of another living soul. It was hopeless, but he kept yelling none the less.

"Yo! Anyone!? Anyone there!?"

What if I am the last one alive? This thought had crossed his mind quite a bit over the last few days as he got closer to the beach, in hopes that maybe he would find survivors there. What if there is no one left on the island? Hell, what if there is no one left in the world? Wouldn't that be just my luck? Actually being the last one in the world, and not even have someone to be with? Not even have the option to repopulate the earth?

"Come on! Here I am! Anyone!?"

Suddenly he was in shadow. He looked up and realized that he was dwarfed by two huge figures. At first he though they must be statues of ancient gods, but then he realized they moved! They're alive. Their voices bellow at him, deep like sounds from the earth. Gripped with fear but also desperate for any sort of communication with a living being, he called out to them.

"Hey! Down here! Here! I'm alive! Help!"

One reached down and lifted him up. Its appendage was fleshy and dry, but warm. The mixture of gratitude of not being alone and the paralyzing fear of these strange pale creatures cascaded through him. They continued to speak to each other in their rumbling in comprehensible language.

"Fellows! Or ladies! Thank god you found me! I've been so alone. Have you seen any of my kind? Are there any left? Can you understand me?!"

The one holding him gently passed him into the hand of the other one, who was taller and longer. This second one had rougher flesh. He tried to interpret its language and its facial expression. He wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure from its tone that it was angry.

"Hey! Let's be friends! Really! I'm just so damn alone! Please! Take me with you! Maybe I can help you."

The great being holding him became silent and glared down at him. Is it slowly smiling? Yes, maybe it understands. Maybe they will befriend me! Perhaps now I will finally be safe.

Suddenly the creature closed its fingers around him and he felt his bones snap and his muscles rip and his organs crush. In an instant he was dead.

Saywer dropped the frog to the jungle floor and walker away to Hurley's horror.

Project Improvider Update

So tomorrow night is the big first day. I will be thrown in with 7 other (more experieced) improvisers and we shall perform a harold (a long form of improv). I have no idea how many of these groups there will be. I am over my pettiness about not understanding the process and am over any nervousness, although I am sure that wil kick back in tomorrow around 3pm.

Check the Project Improviser site next week. I still have no idea when the site wil actually go live.

Another note: Their is NO Project Improviser performance this Wednesday.

Friday, June 2

Extraordinary Machine

First off, I have the best most wonderful loving greatest parents EVER. Yes, ever. Bar none. I hardly ever say it (or probably realize it), but it is the absolute truth. I trully love them to the depth of my heart.

Now, on to business. My current song of power. Extraordinary Machine sung by Fioana Apple. Yes, Fiona Apple. You would have thunk it?

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb
But I'm good at being uncomfortable
so I can't stop changing all the time

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go
And won't go slow so as not to focus and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide as long as
they go fast from whence he came
But he's no good at being uncomfortable
so he can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it
I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view
and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to
move in my own way
And say I've been getting
along for long
before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family
It happens so everybody cares
And wears the sheeps clothes while they chaperone
Furious you're looking down your nose at me while you appease
Courteous to try and help but let me set your mind at ease

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine

Do I so worry you
No need to hurry to my side, it's very kind
But it's to no avail
I don't want the pill
I promise you everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine

On the other hand the singer I would give my heart and body to right now? Liz Phair. Man, am I ever a wuss.

Thursday, June 1

Project Improviser Update - Humph.

Well, this is just great. I now feel like a total ass... and a little duped. I just have to learn to keep my frackin' mouth shut.

Turns out I was not selected as one of 8 people. I was selected as one of who knows how many people who get to audition on Sunday. From THAT they will select 8 people who will go onto the rest of the contest.

Doh! Now it makes a lot more sense why I was picked with such little experienece... what the hell to they care? They can cut me on Sunday! So my minor cool news has become just a whatever news that might turn into minor cool news after Sunday.

Not a big deal EXCEPT that I told a bunch of folks so that they could plan ahead and show up next Wednesday. Including my entire improv class. I told them today and won't see them until next Thursday. So some of them may very well show up on Wednesday and go "Where the hell is he? What a liar!"

I must just keep my mouth shut.

So now the deal is: I may or may not be in Project Improvisor of Wednesday.


Wednesday, May 31

Will we ever recapture the magic that was 1984?

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai, Beverly Hills Cop, Blood Simple, Ghostbusters, The Killing Fields, Repo Man, Stranger Than Paradise, The Terminator, Amadeus, The Karate Kid, A Nightmare On Elm Street, once Upon A Time In America, Romancing The Stone, Starman, Birdy, All of Me, The Brother From Another Planet, Gremlins, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Splash, Top Secret!, The Ice Pirates, Night Of The Comet, The Ewok Adventure, The Last Starfighter, Police Academy, Revenge Of The Nerds, Sixteen Candles, Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, Swing Shift, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, Dune, The Flamingo Kid, Footloose, Red Dawn, Bachelor Party, C.H.U.D., Hardbodies, Purple Rain, Stop Making Sense

Tuesday, May 30


That last post was just sad and self-indulgent and reeked of self-pity.

Listening to NPR yesterday and learned that in Papau New Guinea one of the biggest sex filled day is the celebration of the Yam Festival. I guess it is okay to have sex with anyone, regardless of martial status. That is how they celebrate the yam. How do we American's celebrate the yam? We don't! It MAYBE gets sideshow billin' on Thanksgiving. Do we have any tubers that we celebrate with sex with strangers? NO!

On the other hand, the radio report was about the rampant spread of AIDS in Papau New Guinea. Win some, lose some.

What else have I learned recently? Red Envelope is selling leather beer holsters. However they're all sold out.

I had something up on Overheard in New York, and of course I had a typo.

Saw X-Men 3 (oops. Sorry. X-Men: The Last Stand). Heh. It was loud, poorly written, but servicible. But explain to me this: If you are just planning on killing the kid, and can lift the Golden Gate Bridge, why not just drop it on him? Or at least ram in into his room?

Ghost Rider trailer. I enjoy watching Nicky Cage hit his head or catch on fire... but beyond that it sure looks like Spawn on a Motorcycle. And that is no Snakes on a Plane.

I went to Trader Joe's in Manhattan. It was wrong. Not the same as on the West Coast. Not at all. It looks right... but it feels just wrong. It's like Zaibar's on Mel Rose. It made me very sad.

But I bought same very tasty rice crackers. Love their rice crackers.

TV season is in hiatus and the summer movies are looking bleak. Lookin'forward to Superman Returns and Pirates 2. And I am sure I will relish The Break Up. Unless it has a happy ending. No happy ending for you!

Causing damage


Even when one tries your best to not continue to damage those close to you, the littlest thing can do it. It's very frusterating. My very existance stretches across the internetawebthingy and I either have to become invisible or just stop worrying about it.

I like to share my interests with people, I want to have them share them with me. I want to build a circle of friends that is based off of:
•A Shared Joy of the Ridiculous
•An Appreciation of Pop-Culture and High-Culture
•Not Sex
•Creativity in all it's forms

I spend all day calling myself out for crap, it is tiring being called out for something silly.

Okay, rant over. Sunday is the first taping of Project Improviser. The book is being edited in a frenzy (although I have a mid-chapter that I'm holding off on until June 24th and the Mermaid Day Parade). I am slowly building a community... but I am getting tired of drama.

Monday, May 29

Project Improviser!

PROJECT IMPROVISER is a new internet video show that is a reality competition for long form improv. A group of eight performers will be chosen and each week they will work on a different form, which they will perform at School Night. They will then get evaluated by a panel of judges and each week one person will be eliminated. And along the way, they will have various other fun challenges that they will participate in.

I just found out I will one of the eight. I have a feeling I will be the greenhorn, the diamond in the rough, the darkhorse, the outsider, the unknown. I am very excited and just a tad scared.

I don't know when the webisodes will be going up (but our first taping is Sunday the 4th). The first live performances/contests will be Wednesdays at 11pm at The Upright Citizens Brigade starting June 7th.

Here is the site: PROJECT IMPROVISER. (Yes, nothing is there yet.)