"Mr. Preseident, are you ready for your unicorn massage?"

Dan Lacey, of Painter of Pancakes fame (no, I hadn't heard of it until just now either), is selling this wonderful painting on Ebay.

A very straight forward description: "An oil painting of Barack Obama and his unicorn Penelope relaxing at Camp Lei."

Current bid is $44 dollars which is a steal!

(via Boing Boing)

Or "Erection doesn't get excited by birth control"

"Contraceptives not the kind of stimulus Boehner can believe in"

Obama's inauguration speech via speech-to-text software

Excerpt:

"the loss of the wall from a worsening from the was those in a doc the wasn.t the is the's room of the room fo war: a in a 100 100 and onger as well as 31 Arsen along with wall version when all 100 and what we had loss of a lay fro English through 100 and are to the sure for the shores will the longer it up in is 100 they are also the Lewis of the loss her her the e also the whom is looking for the little 2 mil loss: 1 whose the report was a so as a little of the bu what a wall in a than the tour having this is a flock of th 000 illusion had mor at at the those with the room was a the 0 will all this one little lose the number of our way we is is in a was careless 001 tho England and was one with the organs was 20"

Dracos.co.uk used his laptop and a microphone help up to the tv.

(via Boing Boing)

Comments I couldn't post live during the inauguaration because the internet went down in the coffeeshop because too many people were live blogging

John Cusack in a suit just makes me think of his character in Grosse Pointe Blank.  Which makes me think he is there to assassinate someone.

Cheney is in wheel chair because he "hurt his back" moving "boxes" out of his office.  (1) It may have been corpses and not boxes. (2) He looks more and more like James Bond villain.

Oh come on people.  Stop booing W..  He's done.  Move on.  (Kucinich just announced that he is still going to try to impeach Bush... from anywhere he can.  Next attempt - impeach Bush from Netflicks.)

John Williams composed the piece played just before Obama takes the oath.  The next four years will be score liked a Spielberg film.

Wait.  They just said that Obama official became president at noon.  That for 5 minutes he could have done whatever the hell he wanted.

Obama fumbles over the oath.  Is it still valid?  Do we now have a president how hasn't taken the oath?  Oh my god.  He is above the law now!  So no change from the last eight years.

The gun shots of the salute freak me out a bit.  I scan the stage for Cusack.

"I stand here humble ...by the fact I stumbled over the oath."

"Forty-four president have now spoken the word oft he oath of office ...actually just forty-three.  I found it kind of tricky."  (Okay, I'll let it go.)  Edit: As was pointed out by rubysneakers - Glover Cleveland.  Was Obama already can't get his facts straight.

 

Serious note:  Obama starts right into how difficult thinks will be.  He asks for people to sacrifice... something we haven't been asked of in the last seven years.  Post-9/11, we were told that the way to "win" was to just go on and not change our lives.  Finally!

(This is when the internet totally went.  I assume the middle was where all the funny bits were.)

Okay.  The first 100 seconds.  Is everyone better off?  Seems like Obama has spent his entire time in office standing there and just talking.  Where is all this "vhange" I keep hearing about?

B(a)rick Obama

(via Big Picture Blog via Bozarth)

Forecast

On the morning news today, they were giving the five day forecast.  You know the one: five vertical rectangles with the temperature and pithy description and then cartoon drawing of a sun or clouds or clouds hiding behind the sun.  The pithy description caught my eye today.

TODAY: A FEW FLAKES

TOMORROW: PRESIDENT OBAMA

WEDNESDAY: BRIGHT & BRISK

Say it all, doesn't it?

The Amazing Obama-man

I know there is something witty and snarky to write about this, but I honestly just think it's cool.

"Dimebag" Darrell will be in charge of wiretapping

Am I the only one who reads end lines about Panetta and the CIA and reads it as Pantera?

Celebrate the inauguration, eat Obama's face

Besides other Obama variations (including a top hatted one that is just weird... has anyone ever seen Obama wearing a top hat?), the have Biden and Michelle, Lincoln.  Also a Lil' Blago.

Max and Benny's.

Al v. Ann

I've been watching the Minnesota Senate election recount fairly closely. I have no idea how Franklen will be as a senator but I have always enoyed his wit. (And I so dislike Coulter.)



(via Boing Boing)

Forward looking

Listening to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me on NPR this morning, I've been reminded on another reason why I am glad we'll have a President Obama.  The episode was a clip show of election related material, both from this year and years gone by.  The last third was a series of Obama segments.  And, god damn it, it's nice to have a Head of State that has a good sense of humor.  Not a simple jovial, one of the guys humor, but a good natured cutting cynical humor.  Self-depreciating and sharp.  (Yes, I will say it.  He is someone I would actually like to have a beer with.)

Two highlights that stood out:

• When during the campaign, a young reporter showed up at an Obama event.  He had brought along a young woman he wanted to impress.  Obama mistook the reporter for a student and then proceeded to make comments about how baby faced he was.  The reporter wrote that Obama had ruined his chance with the woman.  Obama called the reporter to apologize.

• When Obama was an actual guest, he was discussing how the drawers in the desks in the Senate had the carved names of all the Senators that had sat there.  When they made jokes about vandalism and such, Obama joked that he thought about doing it with spray paint... you know, being the only black senator and all.

Unpardoned

Here's my feelings about the weird rescinding of the Presidential pardon yesterday:

There are three possible reasons this happened, none of which are good.

(1) The Whitehouse didn't vet Isaac Toussie and he never really deserved a pardon but they were too clueless to realize it. They weren't doing it because of donations but realized after flag were up that he shouldn't have been pardoned. So they were passing out pardons with no real checking.
(2) They gave the pardon BECAUSE of the money and influence even though they knew it was undeserved and stopped only when caught.
(3) He deserved a pardon (at least in the Whitehouse's eyes) but they took it back when it looked like it was because of the money. Meaning a man they believed should be pardoned isn't.

So, yes.  Whacked no matter how you slice it.

McCain Ads Directed By Hollywood

(via Katey)

I'm Just A Bailout Bill

The voice is dead on. Link.

(via Ross Bergman)

How to win by not losing

(via Wonkette)

Lil' O'Reilly

(via Fred Garvin)

Tonight! On TV!

In prep to watch the debates, I turned on the tv early. The channel was already on Fox. And on Hole In The Wall.

Um, yeah.

The contestants where three women from Rock of Love and three women from Flavor of Love. Let me tell you, some classy tv. And early commentary from the host after one woman succeeded in fitting through a martini glass shaped hole: "This is probably not the first time Amber has gotten on her knees for a martini." Super classy.

On the other hand I wish I could play this the next time I was drunk. It's like playing a human-sized version of Perfection.

Later I realized I missed Jerry Van Dyke on My Name Is Earl. The Dick Van Duke Show is still perhaps my favorite sit-com and Jerry was always a favorite character. Can't say I was a huge fan of him on Coach.

The debate was actually pretty interesting. Neither screwed the pooch, but of course the bar had been lowered so low for Palin. It was going to be a success for her if she didn't have to break out a Magic 8 Ball for her answers. Biden was pretty straight forward and concise. Palin has learned that if you don't know the answer to a question, just answer a question that wasn't asked.

I am glad I decided not to do the drinking game. I am pretty sure Biden decided people might not be drunk enough near the end and said "maverick" eight times in one answer.

I am interested to see FactCheck tomorrow. I am pretty sure Palin kept getting the name of the general in Afghanistan wrong. Not that any of that matters to 99.9% of the population (on either side).

Palin v Biden. Now with less booze.

I got pretty drunk during the first Obama/McCain debate. Sadly, the VP debate is on a Thursday so not getting wasted for me tonight.

At first I was more excited about this debate (the way on gets more excited watch amateur demolition derby that the Indy 500), but I have a feeling there won't be any huge flubs. The format is to geared to pat short answers and will have very little follow up. There just won't be as much chance for disasters. Sigh.

It has been mentioned that Palin is the comedy gift that doesn't stop giving. I was going to post some of 1000's on Palin related internet crap... but Wonkette beat me to it and did it better. So just go there.

Wonkette.com.

My Night

Thoughtful political discourse.

To debate or not to debate, that is the question

Obama calls McCain and says, "Hey, let's put out a joint statement on the fact that the US finance system sucks ass." McCain says, "Yeah. Let's." Later he tells the press, "I don't think we should debate on Friday. I don't want to be distracted."

Obama held a press conference a few minutes ago. I adore Wonkette's live blogging version.

4:45 — First question: was John McCain try to fuck you in the ass with this thing?
4:45 — Answer: “Well let me explain the timeline,” meaning YES MOTHERFUCKER JOHN MCCAIN IS A POLITICAL SHITBIRD FROM PLUTO.
4:46 — “More important than ever” that we have the debate. Because of all the terrible problems today.
4:46 — President should know how to multi-task. Ooh doggy.
4:47 — Question: did John McCain tell you on the telephone that he wanted to cancel the debate, like a jackhole?
4:48 — Answer: He kind of mentioned that he might want to do that, but who knew he was SETTLED ON IT? Like what is that even.

(via Wonkette)