Beautiful Words

Link.

I may just print this out and use these as suggestions at improv shows.

(via Katey)

Why the End of the World

Approximately 74% of the people reading this already know the answer but I am going to chat about it anyway.   I am recently started a class at the Upright Citizens Brigade: The End of the World.   It is performing an improv form using the genre of the, well, end of the world. Apocalypses and post-apocalypses.  Alien invasions, viruses, zombies, doomsday weapons, time travel, distopias, reality altering drugs, clones, robots, Revelations, meteors, earthquakes, global warming, the sun dying, nuclear war, 2012, genetically altered animals, mutants, the Antichrist, and on and on.

If you know me at all, you know why I felt like this class was something I needed to participate in. Hell, I toyed with the idea of asking if I could be unpaid TA if I didn't get in the class.  The whole concept fascinates me.  It is both epic and personal, and usually slapped with a great big moral message. What also fascinates me is our (has a human race) fascination in it.  We just love  (and apparently always) be unable to not think about the end of it all.  How will we, has a race, meet our final demise?  With a bang or a whimper?  Usually it is our on hubris, especially since the start of the 20th century.  And that alone is a testament to our own hubris: We are very convinced  that our own ability to play god will be our own destruction.

Also it is just damn fun to do.  Seriously.  It is like an excuse to initiate all the crap that usually occurs to me.  Crazy scenarios, themes that hit you like a 2x4, the type of broad characters that I am nervous to break out in any other impov form.  I am like a kid in a candy shop.

Anywhozits, that is why I am using it to write short stories.  Apologies to Douglas Adams and the original conception of what eventually became Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  I will probably run out of steam at some point (heck, I am behind now).  If you have any suggestion, challenges, ideas, whatevers... feel free (read: I beg you) to post them in the comments.  I will do my best.

Post 1000

Yep.  1000 posts.  Crazy, huh?

I thought about a lot things I could do here in this post.  Writings something about how much I've changed (or not) since this blog started.  Or perhaps just get very personal.  Or a best of list.  

What would have been great would be to start posting the novel I wrote back then.  I almost did.  But I am rewriting it (again).  It is in a pretty good state but I am also going through and changing some names and such.  (For example, the dating site in the book is called "atwitter.com" which made sense three years ago... before people twitter.)

So I decided to write something new.  Totally new.  It is an old idea of mine that loots from a bunch of other old ideas I'd had.  I have no idea where it is going to go or how often I'll managed to add chapters.  But I am going to just try to write from the gut without thinking too much about it.

And no editing... so, yes, it is going to be rough.

I hope you enjoy it.

The Room to The Other Whens.

(Note:  I also re-organized my links.  Mostly to highlight my friend's stuff more.)

One Man Show

One man (person, whatever) shows are all the rage now.  Well, that probably isn't true.  They are always being done.  Probably because (1) you can feature yourself and (2) don't have to worry about anyone else's schedule, ego, etc. and (3) a one person short one act feels "full" while a larger cast piece feels "slight."  Whatever the case is, I've been leaning more and more into writing for the stage.

The problem is that I haven't led an extremely interesting life.  Yes, yes.  I know there are those of you who are going to say "Pshaw, Chris!  Your life is interesting!  Everyone has something to say."  I have plenty to say, but let's be fair - I had a great childhood, I have a great family. I am white, financially comfortable and straight.  I haven't traveled tons and when I have it has always been safe.  I've never done more then dabble in narcotics before I discovered that besides occasional drinking, it wasn't for me.  I know a little about a lot of things.  I know coffee.  I know food.  I know science fiction and speculative fiction and story in general.  And god knows the word doesn't need another show about (1) acting, (2) writing, or (3) comedy.

So that leaves me at loose ends a bit.  But I have a few ideas.

• For a long time, I've been working on a one man piece about Philip K. Dick's nervous breakdown (or visions or whatever) of the mid 70s.  Great material and I love it but (1) I would be totally miscast in it and (2) it is only funny in parts.  It is dark and weird and emotional.  I just don't have a handy venue to pitch it to right now.

• Depression.  It's not like there aren't a ton of pieces about that, but I think it could be funny/sad.  I just don't know if I have the right angle on it yet.  I think I still need some distance on it.

• Sex.  Again, the world doesn't need tons more on this.  But I have had my share of relationships, stretching across the spectrum of possibilities.  I have tons of stories and thoughts.  Of course, it makes me a bit nervous.  (1) A whole show about "the women I've been involved with" could come off as bragging.  (I'd say it is a sign that it's a sign of my ability to form intense bonds and then not make the final step to fully give myself over to them but it is a fine line.) (2) I am uncomfortable putting my partners' lives up on stage.  Names can be changed and the chance of them actually seeing the show are slim, but I still am protective of those memories/lovers.  (3) If I am totally honest, I will come off as an ass.  Yes.  An ass.

Still, I think I may do it.

The Sopranos abridged: Just the swearin'

Every swear word on The Sopranos, in chronological order.  Runs 27-plus minutes.  Clearly NSFW.

the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

(via Boing Boing)

No worries.

(This was the post I wanted to make the other day.)

I've been using the phrase "No worries" a lot lately.  I'm not sure if a lot of people are apologizing tome or if they are bailing on plans or what.  I certainly haven't felt slighted lately (if anything, the reverse) but a quarter of my out going texts on my cel are "No worries."

I started to use the phrase back in the mid-90's when I was a shift supervisor (or leader or whatever we called ourselves) at a coffeehouse.  One of the employees was a young Australian man whose name now escapes me.  He said "No worries" all the time.  And some how it lodged into my brain and resurfaces every couple of years.

It's a great phrase which captures my feelings a lot of the times.  "There is no reason to stress out about this small thing.  In the scheme of things it is nothing" or "Hey, what happened happen.  We can handle it" or "I have your back" or a nice way to say "Chill the fuck out."  It's all about keeping things in perspective.

I loved working with the Australian because he rarely let the trivialities of slinging coffee get him down.  It was a low paying job of little grand significance.  He instantly shook of annoying or angry customers.  When things went wrong they didn't phase him.  And his attitude as infectious.

Don't get me wrong.  He was a horrible employee.  Maybe not horrible, but not very good.  The flip side of "no worries" is "I don't care enough to put in anything but the bare minimum of effort."  And I am pretty sure he was stoned at work more than a few times. 

But still, he was a joy to work with.

Save the Words

PapaSix popped this to me.

Save The Words!

While I know this is in part an ad for the Oxford Dictionary (and it saddens my the OED might needs to advertise) and is a way to sell t-shirts, it is also a cause I feel strongly about.

Go and read the f.a.q. and adopted a word.

My little sweetie is "frutescent."  

adj. Relating to, resembling, or assuming the form of a shrub; shrubby.

Obama's inauguration speech via speech-to-text software

Excerpt:

"the loss of the wall from a worsening from the was those in a doc the wasn.t the is the's room of the room fo war: a in a 100 100 and onger as well as 31 Arsen along with wall version when all 100 and what we had loss of a lay fro English through 100 and are to the sure for the shores will the longer it up in is 100 they are also the Lewis of the loss her her the e also the whom is looking for the little 2 mil loss: 1 whose the report was a so as a little of the bu what a wall in a than the tour having this is a flock of th 000 illusion had mor at at the those with the room was a the 0 will all this one little lose the number of our way we is is in a was careless 001 tho England and was one with the organs was 20"

Dracos.co.uk used his laptop and a microphone help up to the tv.

(via Boing Boing)

Relational Visual Dictionary with 80,000,000 Tiny Tiny Images

Link.

From the site:

Each of the tiles in the mosaic is an arithmetic average of images relating to one of 53,464 nouns. The images for each word were obtained using Google's Image Search and other engines. A total of 7,527,697 images were used, each tile being the average of 140 images. The average reveals the dominant visual characteristics of each word. For some, the average turns out to be a recognizable image; for others the average is a colored blob. The list of nouns was obtained from Wordnet, a database compiled by lexicographers which records the semantic relationship between words. Using this database, we extract a tree-structured semantic hierarchy which we use to arrange tiles within the poster. We tessellate the poster using the hierarchy so that the proximity of two tiles is given by their semantic distance. Thus the poster explores the relationship between visual and semantic similarity. For a large part of our language the two are closely correlated as shown by the extent of visual clustering within the poster.

I'm not 100% sure what any of that means but its cool.

(via Good Morning Silcon Valley via PapaSix)

Wordle

Here's a Wordle of my blog.  Or the first page of my blog I quess.  I need to find out if there is a way to do the whole blog because this is boring... and proves that I steal from Boing Boing a lot (although it helps that every time I mention Boing Boing the word gets written twice... this post alone has messed up the stats).

NaNoWriMo '08

My straight up fiction writing has been lagging lately so I've decided to do NaNoWriMo again this year. I have no idea how considering how my schedule is a lot more packed than it was in '05 and '06 (I took last year off), but my brain needs a jump start.

This year I want to do something unrelated to my previous books which have all been New York male-chick lit/horror/Biblical revisionism (once described as "Nick Hornby meets Edgar Allan Poe"). But I'm having a hard time deciding what. So let's vote in the comments.

Here are some options. I am fully open to taking suggestions (since nothing has sparked any particular fire in me). I don't have to decide until Oct 31st. Sometime in late October I'll post my top few choices and let my readers (all five of you) pick.

• A 15 year old girl who's mom drags her to boy bands because mom wants to hook up with them. (This is just a fragment on an idea.)
• My take on a zombie apocalypse. (I have no idea what I'd do. I only have on scene in my head that is actually conceived for film.)
• Something sci-fi. (I have no idea what this would be but it would probably involve war.)
• A dark family comedy/drama (ala Geek Love or whatever).
• An Alice In Wonderland/Phantom Tollbooth child sucked into alternate world fantasy thing. (This would be easiest.
• A time travel story. (I'd love to do this but to do it well would probably take more careful plotting than writing 50,000 word in 30 days would allow.)
• Erotica. (Want to see me go crazy? Watch what happens when I try to write 1,700 some words of porn a day.)
• A romantic comedy. (I'll need more to go on than just that.)

Oh, and this is old but I finally looked at it.

Collection of thoughts that shouldn't be in the same post

I am fascinated by the semantics of things. Right now my issue is with improv. There is a pile of vocabulary that we use to discuss improv but everything is poorly defined. Or at least diversely defined. This is a problem with with discussing most art (like trying to define the word "art"). For example, there is a concept of "game." The simplest definition is "what is funny in a scene," but that of course opens a whole other can of worms. Often the nuances of what made a line or situation "funny" is ambiguous. Or it can be for me at least. There was line said by my scene partner in my class show yesterday that killed. It was one of those audience can't stop laughing moments. I had bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from laughing. And I am not 100% sure why.

There are tons of words in improv that everyone has there own definition for. "Relationship." "Pattern." Some words are things that supposedly mean a very specific thing. For example, there is an exercises/warm-ups called Categories. Actually there are three separate games I have heard called Categories. And I have seen each of those games played many different ways.

The worst, I think most would agree, is the term "Organic." This can either refer to a type of opening to an improv set or to an entire set style. I have NEVER had two teachers describe it the same way. It has weird connotations in a lot of students heads. This is partly due to the fact that when you are first learning about it it is similar to an exercise call Follow the Follower (which some of us refer to as Woosh-Woosh) but as you go along you add more layers and options to it. In my mind, an organic opening (or an organic styled show) is about accepting everything you are given by everyone but it is also about making choices. Choices inform choices. It is about not judging yourself or others and letting the whole lead your impulse... but it also means allowing those impulses to come out. Thank You, Robot mostly does "Organic" openings but we have started calling it the "Anything" opening, which is more accurate.

Anywhozits, how people communicate with a flawed or ill-established vocabulary fascinates me.

I may have very well used "semantics" incorrectly here.


David Foster Wallace hung himself on Friday. As stated before, I had just started to reread Infinite Jest last week. Saturday night on the subway I was reading a chapter dealing with a woman talking about how depression made her feel and the difference between attempting suicide to hurt oneself and attempting suicide to end oneself. When I got home I found out he was dead. It hit me harder than I would have expected.

I don't know if I have more to say about it.


I bought the video game Star Wars The Force Unleashed. As someone pointed out, it is a ridiculous title. I've only had a chance to play for half an hour. Hack, slash. Good fun. I am sure I will have more to say on it when I have played more.


Someone farted on the subway a few days ago and it smelled like waffles with maple syrup.


I've been re-watching the tv series Angel lately. Such good goofy fun. Season four is all over the map. I really liked season five. For a show that ended on a picture perfect note, I wish it would come back. And not as a movie. I liked it because it was a series.

I actually thought I was going to write more about Angel but now I realize I don't want to.


Thank You, Robot has a show on Friday at Under St. Marks (94 St. Marks Place). 10:30. You should come to it (especially if you didn't come to be class show yesterday). It's only $6 and the other teams are Old Enough (which I believe is made up of all improvisers over 40) and Bangs (which is an UCB house team that I am really enjoying watch grow).

If you came to my class show, thank you. I know at least three of my readers were actually in it so they don't get actual thanks for showing up. They do get thanks for being awesome.


I am more excited to see the Presidential (and Vice Presidential) debates than I have been... well, ever. And I am pretty sure I will be disappointed all around. Much like watching sports, they are only interesting when things get crazy or just go horribly wrong.


I have a new favorite brand of athletic socks.

What I've Been Thinking About Lately

After it kept coming up in conversations, I decided to re-read Infinite Jest. It's been about ten years. After just three chapters it's back at the top of my favorite books. I can't quite put my finger on it. The characters – Hal's in the opening scene...his disconnect to what is going on around him and even what is going out of his mouth... "We witnessed something only marginally mammalian in there, sir"... heartbreaking and hilarious. The themes – addiction, family, consumerism, entertainment. The straight up love of words. And it is dense and unforgiving to the reader but in such a way that is so rewarding in the end. It's not a book I am going to devour this time. I plan on savoring it this go around.

•••

My back started to peal on Thursday and hasn't stopped. Yes, it is disgusting. And it itches like hell. The sslowly flaking front line has finally reached the small of my back to the small injury I received during my 201 Musical Improv show. I have no idea why that tiny injury refused to heal right. Yet another silly minor scar with a silly story. (To go with (1) "That was from a vacuum cleaner while playing Ed Norton in a separatist-feminist version of Alcestis," (2) "That was from making clockwork awning for a theater," and (3) "That was when I cut myself with a bagel... no, not while cutting a bagel... I cut myself WITH a bagel.")

•••

Related confession: I really enjoy and am fascinated by the process of pealing long sheets of skin off my arms and legs.

•••

The complexity of age has crossed my mind lately. It's a hard thing to talk about. Age is relative but there are aspects of it that do affect you. You go through stages. They aren't clear cut but they are there. It's not about maturity. It's just about "stuff that happens." For example, before you turn thirty you might scoff at the idea of crossing that artificial mile marker. (I know I did.) "It means nothing. There is no greater difference between 29 and 30 than there is between 28 and 29 or 30 and 31." But when you are in it, late at night, reflecting back at life's pile of failure and regrets and looking forward at the diminishing amount of future available to you... it affects you. That is just one example. Explaining to someone what having a seven year relationship end in failure (even if you know that the relationship made you into the you you are now and you like that you and are glad you are that you and not another different you) will never quite be understood if they haven't experienced something similar. Empathy only goes so far. But it is hard to explain to people why age makes a difference without coming across as condescending.

•••

When asked my favorite part of the U.S. Constitution, I usually go with good ol' Amendment numero uno. I think there is a reason it was first. I don't hate the media and the press. Sure, they make me angry at times but I firmly believe that they are MASSIVELY important in this day and age. So my hackles were certainly raised by charges that the "left-wing biased media" were asking "unfair and mean" questions and Gov. Palin's past and record. You know what? You pick a basically unknown to be your candidate for Vice President a few scant days before your national convention (which, lets be fair, is just a four day commercial), it is the media's job to ask fucking questions. You didn't give them a whole lot of time to figure out what questions to start asking so they had to ask any ones that came up. Half the questions they asked were "So, how do Republicans at the convention feel about this thing?" And the answer they got was "We love it!" So, hey, Republicans? You got some mighty fine coverage last week. Enjoy it. You came out looking good... except when you were whining like little bitches that the media was attacking you. You make an off-the-wall "maverick" choice, well, guess the fuck what? People are going to try to figure out the whys, whats and whos. (I normally refrain from swearing here but sometimes it's called for.)

Also go listen to On The Media this week. I heart Brooke Gladstone and Bob Garfield so much.

•••

I do love good dramatic exit lines. I really appreciate people who want to make their lives like a movie, especially a smart movie. I do it all the time. I once gave the greatest speech of my life as an exit line. After she told me that we couldn't continue (or even get past the opening moments of) our starting relationship because in the past she always hurt people she loved and she could tell she was falling for me hard and she didn't want to hurt me, I just stood up, put on my shows and walk to the door... not saying a word. My had rested on the doorknob for three long breaths. I turned back to her. She was sitting on her couch, clutching a throw pillow to her chest. And I began to laugh slightly.

"You," I began, "are stupid. Not a stupid person because you are one of the smartest people I know. You are smart, funny, kind, entertaining, talented almost beyond measure... and, well, extremely sexy and beautiful. But, right now, at this moment, you are stupid. I couldn't care less about what you did in the past. I don't want to be with who you were in the past. I want to date the you right here in this room. And I'm not any of the men you have dated in the past. I am me. And we have something. You just said so. There is something between us that could be something incredibly special. But you want to run and hide behind your pillow because you are scared of the past and the future. Yes, you might hurt me. I might hurt you because god knows I've done that too. Yes, it may all end badly. Let's be fair. Most relationships do. But to not even try because you like me too much? That, [her name], is just plane stupid."*

And I smiled, opened the door, and walked out.

Great moment. But of course life isn't a movie. She didn't throw open her window and yell at me to come back. That's the problem with most well-crafted exit lines in the real world: the other person hasn't learned their part.

*As true as this event is, I am sure time and my ability to romanticize just about anything has tweaked some of the details in my memories.

•••

I made a milkshake today that was so super-delicious that I am filled with bliss.

•••

It is possible to be super jealous of someone and super happy for them at the same time. These are the times I think to myself, "Why am I giving them advice on this? Why don't I take my own advice sometimes and place myself in that position?"

•••

There is an up coming class that I really hope I get into. It's with a teacher I really want to continue with, working on a form I think I'd be really good at and that I'd learn tons from. I also have this issue/anxiety about advanced classes since I keep not getting to them. I don't seek out praise or confirmation but I'd like a shot at least. Again, if I don't get in, I will be super-jealous and super-happy for those that do.

Books

For some reason, books in a lot of conversations in the last week. Perhaps my friends are all trying to better themselves. Maybe we are all just sick and tired of talking about improv. Who knows?

Here's my recommendations off the top of my head.

Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
This is PDK's masterpiece. Some of his other books are more daring (A Scanner Darkly, VALIS) and some will mess with your head more (Ublik), but High Castle is wonderfully crafted and not as self-indulgent as a lot of his stories. (Side note: PDK not only used the I Ching as a major plot device, but used it as he was writing to make choices about where the story would go.

Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
Love, romance, and a messed up family of circus freaks. What's not to love?

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
It's a dense book but very rewarding. Don't try to think too hard about it while reading or you'll just get confused. It all adds up (except where is it doesn't). Another messed up family, addiction and consumer culture in the near future. I once lived in a house and we hung a sign with "Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est" on the wall.

Bone by Jeff Smith
Yeah. This is a comic book but a masterful one that is often skipped by comic nerd because the art looks all Disney-ish. A great epic tale.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
For my money one of the funniest books ever written. But then again, I have always found the Apocalypse funny.

Bunny Modern by David Bowman
I actually like his first book Let The Dog Drive better, but that is in part because I read it when I was young and confused and it struck a cord. Bunny Modern is a slim book with weird ass ideas. Maybe it is not a great book but it is wholly original. Make sure you read the About the Font in the back.

Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis
Hilarious, cutting and still current. The suburban Great Gatsby. Proto-Simpsons.

Devil In The White City by Erik Larson
Fantastic tale of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and a serial killer. Non-fiction. This is my favorite time period. The clash of the industrial age, with all of its wonderful inventions and ambition, leaving a dark smear of soot and darkness. Also read Larson's Thunderstruck about the development of the wireless telegraph and also murder.

Super Short Stories. Pt 1.

(I've decided to challenge myself this afternoon. Different genres. 100 words or less. Feel free to give suggestions and feel free to be as specific as you want.)

Spot Speaks (horror)
It wasn’t the discovery that, after all these years, Spot could talk the disturb Jack the most. It was that Spot was saying grace over Jack’s half eaten leg.

Answers (sci-fi)
As Alice was led into the starship, she was in awe of the beauty of the moment. All those years wishing to have proof of life beyond the bounds of Earth and here it was. The alien, grey-green skinned, eyeless smooth face, asymmetrical limbs where there should have been limbs.

Alice geared herself. “Please,” she whispered, “I wish to know the answers to the Universe.”

“Crap,” squished the alien. “I was hoping you’d know.”

Subway Choice (romance)
They stood in the rain at the subway entrance. He shifted uncomfortably in the silence that had settled on them. She stared at their feet on the wet sidewalk. What was in her head, he thought. What is she thinking? All he wanted to do was kiss her. That was all that was in his mind. No thoughts of today or tomorrow, just the moment.

Without looking up, she gently touch a button on his coat. “I should go home.”

Damn. “Yeah. So should I.”

She tilted her head up, grinning. “Yeah. You should come home with me.”

Palindrome time... in Slovenian

"Ona seksa skesano."

(She's having sex with remorse.)