Showing posts with label Idiotarod. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiotarod. Show all posts

Sunday, February 11

I *heart* COBRA

Really that is all I have to say.

COBRA is really pretty amazing. For example, last night I sat on the floor of a basement being interviewed for French television (by a woman named, curiously, France). Their were four of us being interviewed at once. Very few questions were asked. We just talked and talked. Man, do we like to hear ourselves talk!

Later, more of us talked about the Idiotarod, the police, Bulahla, and god knows what else.

I want to write more but I must rush off to Thank You, Robot practice. But I will just leave you with this one thought, specifically for those out there who feel that they don't have anything to belong to:

No matter how weird you think you are, there are like minded weird folks out there. You just need to open the door and seek them out. And a willingness to look a little stupid helps.

Monday, February 5

No more wining


Ah! A bad pun!

I had that tiny rant about the person who pulled a bottle of Showket off the rack and opened it at the pre-Idiotarod party. Part of the reason I was a bit miffed was that some house guests back in November (wonderful house guests that I love and adore and would deny nothing to), decided to have wine one night and pulled the same bottle off the rack. The one from the Idiotarod was a replacement.

PapaSix, it his infinite generosity, called the winery and found out they only had six bottles left. I assumed he was sending me one. Today I received all six bottles. There is something thrilling about getting the last six bottles from a winery.

In related news, there is still a bottle mystery out there. On the day after the pre-Idiotarod party, right after discovering the partially drunk bottle of Showket, I discovered a bottle of Prager port on the counter. Now what is weird about it is that there was a mini-controversy in my home not a week before involving a bottle a Prager port. There was a catered dinner party and PapaSix, again in his infinite generosity, gave the bottle of Prager he had brought to the caterer. Some people at the party (okay, just one person) took joking offense that PapaSix had given the bottle away.

So having a bottle appear on the counter was a bit odd. I though it might have been my house guest (the one who had been upset about it), perhaps as a "have a good race" gift. But when I finally got a chance to talk to her about it, she denied it.

That leaves me with three conclusions: (1) Team COBRA has some very generous kind people on it; (2) Team COBRA has some people with some very good taste; and (3) fate/coincidence is sometimes totally bizarre.

Friday, February 2

Team COBRA wants to make Brooklyn safe for sex fiends


A nice little message came for me via Google Alerts. It had a bunch of articles on the Idiotarod. Courier Newspapers, which publishes neighborhood papers through out Brooklyn, had an article entitled "Bklyn a haven for sex fiends." Below that was a snippet of text from the article: "At least that's the vision that the organizers of this year's Idiotarod, COBRA (Carts of Brooklyn Racing Association) had in mind for the fourth annual New ..."

Wow! Our plans went deeper than I thought!

(In reality someone just did a shoddy cut and paste job. Somehow the article about the Idiotarod was attached to the end of an article about... well, sex fiends.)

Wednesday, January 31

Taint

The Gothamist has been very kind to the Idiotarod this year. They even helpeed announce the release of the results, even if as a tiny blurb in the Extra, Extra. Normally that wouldn't warrant me blogging about, except that I was pleased with the quote they chose to use from Number Six's commentary.
"An additional shout out to the ass I tackled at the finish line when I saw him spray painting on the park: Please send C.O.B.R.A. your address. We would like to come over, spray paint your house, spray paint your taint, and then kick you in it."

Good times.

Monday, January 29

Idiotarod Race Results Are Up!

Just a break in my story to announce that the results are up.... well, not off the placings. We do have a master list (not with all of the times, but with MOST of the places). It is just going to take a while to get it all in.

Anywhozits, Number Six rambles a bit in his commentary, but hopefully it helps explain how choices were made.

My Day At The Races, Part 1: Anticipation, Memories, and Cats and Mice


My sleep Friday night is erratic and troubled. I know it is the tension of The Idiotarod coming. Previous years being on Team COBRA was like the night before Christmas. This year it was like the night before Christmas... except that we were Santa. All know there are hundreds and hundreds of people counting on us. But by Saturday morning there is little left to do but to let the events play out. We had made all of our plans to the best of our abilities and just prayed that it would happen and that it would be fun. But 99% of the fun has nothing to do with the organizers. We are like the builders of a sandbox. It is there to play in, but we need the kids to come in play and THEY are what makes it fun. In fact, they bring the sand. We just have to make sure we haven't left any holes. Or left any turds in the box. (Okay, this now wins for tortured metaphor of the week.)

In the morning there is a flurry of phone calls as we schedule rides and what not. I spend some time cleaning up from Friday nights party and run out to the stationary store for last minute supplies. I try to eat, but my nerves are so bad that nothing tastes good except coffee... which I just know is going to react badly in my stomach later.

JD has stated he is picking me up at noon. At eleven I shower and then get dressed. I have, in a fit of hubris or something, decided to wear my best suit. I don't know why I thought I wouldn't get hit with food or vileness. I just love the idea of it. My job for the day is the collector of the judges decisions. My plan is to do as little judging as possible, just moderate. I though I should look stuff, accountantly, and the suit is dark with a vest. It also always makes me feel cool when I wear it. And having a bit of attitude will help during the day.

When I get it on, I check myself out. I wear good shoes, but I decide against dress socks and go with the smart wool socks instead. Friday was brutally cold, and even though Saturday is supposed to be warmer, it is still cold. I have bought a $3 pair of gold wire-rimmed, non-prescription glasses, and I slip them on to complete the look. I have to say, I loved it. I had certain seriousness and weight that I normally would have a hard time pulling off. Cheap black gloves and I am ready to go.

I gather all of my materials in my Tivo courier bag. An attache case handcuffed to me wrist would be better, but I wasn't about to spend big bucks for a tiny bit. The courier bag still works. I also through my COBRA jumpsuit (with freshly ironed on gold stars indicating my Committee Membership) and my COBRA knit cap into a pink shaping bag left over from a recent baby shower. It has bunnies on it (the bag, not the jumpsuit) and the idea that I look like I may be going to a fancy Baptism or Bris makes me giggle. It is the theater I love. And for me theater is in the details.

JD is of course running late because MrR has had his phone break in the night. MrR has the vast amount of the contacts for the day. I mean, we have planned enough and decentralized enough that the day should just happened no matter what individuals drop out. But if something goes horribly wrong, we all know that we would look to MrR to see what he says. He is very much the spirit and driving force of the day. If anyone deserves ownership, it is him, regardless of what he might say. So he had to print out his contact list and use MrsR's cel phone for the day. They don't get to my house until 12:30.

I am in the car with JD, MrR and MrsR. We realize that it is just the four runners from the first year of the Idiotarod. The only one missing is Williamsburg. (What ever happened to Williamsburg?) It is a poetic moment. The four of us, driving towards the start of COBRA's Idiotarod. It had just been 3 years since that first year, the year Hackett blew up his face.

I remember back to us sitting in front of one of the checkpoints that first year. We notice that a team that arrived after us has left before us. MrsR goes to and investigates and discovers that they bribed the judges! It is a revelation to us. Immediately you can see the gears turn in all of our heads. Especially MrR. You can just see him get that mischievous grin, that grin that says,"Oh... we can cheat... oh, how that changes everything...." I don't know if we used the word sabotage that day, but its meaning was in our heads. Sabotage would become our mantra, our modus operandi. And it was back at the moment.

As we get closer to the starting line we get a phone call. Our advance person at the REAL strtaing line is reporting that there are already police there. (Note: Some believe that we changed the starting location at the last minute. Untrue. For weeks we had been planning to publish a decoy start line. I mean, come on! This is COBRA! Do your really think we would publish the starting line 24 hours before the race?) Just three beat cops, but they are already there. It is not even 1:00pm yet! We wonder how they could have known but since some idiot had posted the address in the forums the night before, it wasn't a huge surprise. (Another note: If we call you secretly, don't you think that means we are trying to keep it secret? You're an idiot.) But we also think it is funny. There is the part of the whole day, the cat and mouse we know we are playing, that we all love. While we would be ecstatic if the police just stood back and watched, we know that would never happen.

We also know that if you send 1000 people into one area, there is no real way to stop it. We wouldn't be able to stop it if we tried. Events like the Idiotarod are a testament to the power of individuals when they get together. It doesn't just have to be for social change. It can be for art. I am not calling The Idiotarod art. No, yes, I am. It is art. But more on that later.

We are sent into a bit of a tizzy however. We start brainstorming alternate plans for the race. We start think about who we need to call, what plans we can shift, how we might need to adjust. And that is part of the fun of these sort of events and part of the insane magic that is COBRA. I have no idea what the planning was in previous year (and we where certainly helped by them having done such amazing jobs in the past), but COBRA as amazingly democratic. No, democratic is wrong. Organic. It was ideas tossed in the ring, without ego. Sometimes ideas where accepted, sometimes not. But usually yes. And someone would take charge of it and start researching it and make it happen. Or not. There were no fights internally in COBRA (or at least not that I know). Ideas just formed, mutated and appeared, often empty of ownership.

And that carried on to the last day as we discussed about what to do about the police. It wasn't even a debate... it just happened. As a unit we adjusted, shifted. To be overly dramatic and slightly creepy, we were like old lovers, asleep in bed. We just shifted with the other, no thought.

(NEXT: ENGINE #9 and MY SPECIAL TIME ALONE AT THE FINISH LINE.)

CBS: Worst Network EVER!

What is CBS's problem with the Idiotarod???

First, there was the whole CSI:NY thing. Now they do some amazingly shoddy coverage of the actual race.

Look, CBS. Do some fact checking. It is the 4th annual race. COBRA had 45-plus members last year. (Yes, "20-plus" is 45-plus, but COBRA had 5 carts so that is 25 racers... and that doesn't count support staff). And do you think you could have found more jerky dickish teams if you tried? Do you need me to email you Disaster Vagina's contact info so you can get a complete set?

Way to suck, CBS.

Cleansing Snow

Yesterday was spent at Thank You, Robot practice, lunch with the boys, and then a great dinner with all of Thank You, Robot. It was just a damn pleasant finish to an mindblowingly kick-ass weekend.

There were some things about The Idiotarod that bummed me a touch (counting but not limited to: The JACKASS attiude of a lot of the racers, the slight smell of Crisco and fish still on my flesh, the loss of the cheese balls, the NYPD illogicaly shutting down the afterparty before it started, the dip-shit who I tackled as he started spray painting the park). There is also that post-event depression. All of that work and then it is over. Gone. Ephemerial except for the Flickr pictures and the smell. But Sunday but my mind on my future plans

As I come up out of the subway at Grand Army Plaza, I am greeted with flurries of snow. And it is sticking! Everything has taken on that special fresh snow quiet. The dirt of NY is painted with a fresh coat of white and it all seems so clean. The snowflakes kiss me and I kiss back and I am just filled with joy and calm.

Falling snow always makes me think clearer. I know what I want from the present and the future, and I know that I know what I want. But this weekend I forgot to say that. The snow told me that I could. That it is okay to speak up. Time is too short not to.

I am making plans and living in the moment, which is the balance I have ALWAYS have a hard time with. But not right now. And I have too much great stuff on my plate to worry about the potential that the Mystery Dish may be the best thing ever.. especially when the kitchen is still checking to see if there is any left. (Most tortured metaphor of the week.)

I spent a large portion on the morning trying to get the race results out, so I still haven't had time to write down my thoughts of the Greatest Race in the History of the World. Soon. Tonight. I promise.

Sunday, January 28

Idiotarod: My Damn Cheese Balls!

Idiotarod.

I have tons... TONS!.. of thoughts on this years race. But it is late and I am oh, so tired.
Here is one picture of me. Yes, I was duct taped to a tree.

It was a day.

There hundreds of glorious pictures on Flickr. Take a look.

Saturday, January 27

IDIOTAROD 2007! Early Numbers Are In!!!

Number of potstickers Number Six made before he got bored: 22.
Number of racers COBRA attempted to reach by phone: appox. 155.
Number that said "Wait. I get to my pen because I am in a cow suit": 1.
Number that said "Damn it. My brother gave you MY fucking phone number": 1.
Number of COBRA Brand Jumpsuits of Destruction and COBRA Shirts of Cunning silkscreened by the Amazing Silkscreening Timolicious: I lost count but it was a lot.
Number of COBRA Members that really wanted to see the CSI:NY episode "Obession": 5.
What My Tivo apparently recorded over said episode: Gilmore Girls.

Minimum number of beers/ciders consumer at COBRA's Pre-Idiotarod Gathering: 92 + one 40oz.
Minimum bottles of John Walker Red Label: 1.
Minimum bottles of wine: 2.
Number of bottles of Showket, Sangiovese, 2000, that were pulled from my personal collection, opened and one class drunk: 1.
Where the Showket falls on the list of "bottles I was saving for a special occasion": #2.
Number of times this has happened to me with Showket: This makes 2.

Cups of coffee I have already drunk today: 3.

Tuesday, January 23

Barbarically Brilliant Spectacle

The Idiotarod is always hard to explain to people. They tend to get way too caught up on the "race" part. Flavorpill NYC has decent discription.
If Alaska's Iditarod is a competition of endurance, then NYC's annual Idiotarod is a competition of lunacy, if not idiocy. Replacing dog sleds with shopping carts, frozen wilderness with city pavement, and physical stamina with high alcohol tolerance, this is a barbarically brilliant spectacle to both see and experience. Teams of five costumed, cart-bound participants must reach checkpoints throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan while avoiding officially sanctioned sabotage and the occasional cop. Part Halloween parade and part roving, drunken food-fight, the Idiotarod questions the integrity of natural selection with shameless delight. If Darwin could only see us now.

I would say some of us would rather that there was less food fight... or at least food that was less wet, but what are going to do?

Monday, January 22

Idiotarod - Jan 27th.

Remember The 4th Annual NYC Idiotarod is this Saturday.

Time is running out. Pre-registration only lasts until Thursday. Go to the site. Do it.

The lives of small fluffy critters count on it.

If, for some god awful reason, you are too lazy to run (shame on you!), the after party shall be an event to remember.

WHEN: Sat., Jan. 27th, doors open at 6pm.
WHERE: 21-03 44th Ave (corner of 21st Street), Long Island City, Queens, NY
HOW MUCH: $10 (free with race registration)
WHAT: $5 Booze, $4 Beers
Kickass bands! Peelander-Z, Golem, Robert Urban & R.U.B., Flaming Fire, The Impulse, Gowanus Corral.
Jaw dropping Burlesque! Blackie Deuce, Moxie Block & Meatfingers, Runaround Sue.
Amazing! Dirty Finger (Black Label), James Stacher (Black Label), Rench.
Live Video Mixers!
Award ceremony!

Seriously, kids. How can you miss this?

Friday, January 12

Victory! Kind of.

CBS has changed the description of CSI:NY's episode "Obsession." Instead of "Idiotarod" it is now "Idiot-Run." Now I am guessing the picked "Idiot-Run" because they had some "Those guys are idiots" jokes in script. I still would have gone with "Idiotapolis 500."

I am sure the episode is still offensive to shopping cart racers, but what are you going to do?

Wednesday, January 10

COBRA Brings CBS to its knees!

Wow! Just wow! It is amazing watch people take back the night. COBRA (Carts of Brooklyn Racing Association) took it straight to CBS. Around the country at CBS affiliates, COBRA members rallied their fellow shopping cart racers and demanded change.

There is an interview with a mysteriously named "Number Six" over at the Gothamist. He sounds like a very bright fellow. And over at Comedy Central Inside, Gary Sinse has apologize.
I believe this is "Number Six" reading COBRA's statement. He's handsome, too!
The time for silence has ended. For too long now corporate America has been assimilating our culture, twisting it, exploiting it, ignoring Truth in the favor of titillation. What I speak of is, of course, the noble art of shopping cart racing. And when I say corporate America, I am speaking of CSI:NY (or “CSI: New York,” as most people refer to it).

Tonight's episode of CSI:NY, entitled “Obsession,” is described in CBS's own words as follows:

“A man found dead in the snow with a price tag hanging from inside his stomach leads the CSIs to the annual Idiotarod race where young New Yorkers in creative costumes race decorated shopping carts from Brooklyn to Manhattan as if they were dog sleds.”

Notice the use of the name “Idiotarod.” We, members of the Carts of Brooklyn Racing Association (commonly referred to as COBRA), are the organizers of the 2007 Idiotarod. Let us first deal with the inaccuracies of that description of the event. One, not all racers are “young.” Racers come in all ages. The Idiotarod appeals to the human soul and we all agree that the human soul has no age. Two, more than just New Yorkers come to race. From across the country, or at least the tri-state area, racers come to New York (and spend money here, I will remind you) to experience the Experience. Three, there is no snow. COBRA believes there will never be snow again. And we would like to thank Al Gore for inventing global warming.

But more importantly, COBRA and shopping cart racers the world over, are distraught by the use of the name Idiotarod. COBRA was contacted by the producers of CSI:NY in November. They asked if they could use the name. We expressed a full willingness to work with them on a story. A story that would convey the excitement of the Idiotarod. That would convey the drama, the thrill, the pageantry, the magic that makes the Idiotarod such a special event. But we could not agree to the story presented to us, a story of stealing carts from the homeless... and of murder most foul. But the producers declined, stating that they had to start shooting in a week and there was no time to work with us. They stated they would not use the name.

And we see that they have used it. The irony in the title “Obsession” is not lost on us. This is just yet another example of the pattern of the media giants using the culture of shopping cart racing for their own nefarious gain. For too long we have sat back and watched them portray us as thieves and murders. We have been exploited for too long. We will no longer stand by silently while they continue this derogatory and negative agenda against us. Shopping cart racers are tired of hiding in the shadows. We are tired of being stereotyped. If our children continue to be bombarded by this, I dare say, hate, how can we expect them to grow up, to hold their heads high, and to say to their friends Bobby Joe Filbert and Sally Jane Kemper, “My parents are shopping cart racers, and I want to be one too”? Really, I ask you. What about the children?

I would like to make it clear this is not an attack on CBS. They have many fine programs. Personally, I always enjoyed Murder, She Wrote. I am a also a big fan of The Ghost Whisper. Jennifer Love Hewitt is dreamy.

Thank you.


Rumor is that CBS is replacing "Obsession" with a repeat tonight. They say it is because G. W. Bush is giving a speech about the war in Iraq. But I think we know the Truth. The people have spoken.

See? BS!

There is a rally out side of the New York CBS office's at 1 PM today.

W 52nd bewteen 5th and 6th.

Shopping cart racers will no longer have their noble art degraded by media filth.

The name "Idiotarod" means something. It stands for something. Don't let corportate America assimilate and exploit the culture of minorities.

CSI:NY is a crime.

I need some coffee. Maybe a bagel.

Monday, January 8

Idiotarod vs. CSI:NY

Apparently someone as started informing the press.
The Gothamist.

CSI:NY & The Idiotarod

So this week's episode of CSI:NY has this description on the CBS website:
"A man found dead in the snow with a price tag inside his stomach leads the CSIs to the annualIdiotarod race where young New Yorkers in creative costumes race decorated shopping carts from Brooklyn to Manhattan as if they were dog sleds."

Humph. I didn't know Idiotarod was in the common domain. (Although if you watch the preview, it appears they are using the name "Idoitrun" in the actual episode.) And why must the media continue to portray shopping cart racers as murders and thieves? For years, we have been bombarded by negative images. How do we expect our children to hold their heads high if this continues?

Let me add the conversation from November that COBRA had with CSI:NY's producers in regard to this. Link to the phone call.

And couldn't have been a Law & Order show? I like Law & Order.

Sunday, December 3

Good B-Days, Great Practices & Secret Meetings

Last night I went to NaNWriMo friend Jeremy's birthday party. I was tired and a touch cranky when I got there but quickly started having a great time. This sounds the tiniest bit pathetic, but I am getting a lot better at meeting new people. If improv has done nothing for me, it was made me more confident chatting in bars. I think I may have even flirted! Yes! The shock of it all! (Of course, I may be wrong. I'm so out of practice that I'm not sure I recognize "flirting" anymore.)

I say Jeremy is NaNoWriMo friend but he is now an improv friend. I met him doing NaNo last year (although we only really talked at the afterparty and a post-NaNo gathering). But I re-met him while attemding a make-up improv class (for the class I missed going to Mexico). It's good too because he makes me laugh.

Last week's Sunday practice was a bit of a bummer. We were all off. Actually, I can make no claims for anyone else. I was off. (Most of the consenus was that we were all off... although I thought Larry was on.) Todays practice was better. Much better. I felt a out of my head and just had fun. I also felt like I reconnected with some ideas I had forgotten... Keep it simple. Be specific. No need to go to crazytown. All of these things I've known, but I haved been doing them. Don't try as hard. Stop focusing so hard on game. Play it real. That is the big on. Play it real.

Tonight I went to a meeting. I can't talk about it. Exciting stuff though. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. Sorry.

Tuesday, November 28

C.O.B.R.A. presents the 2007 Idiotarod

As it is late in the evening, I won't go into this in much detail right now. Just that the Idiotarod... the greatest sporting event to grace this planet... is coming in just two months. TWO MONTHS! January 27. Mark it on your calendar. Mark it well. Start "obtaining" those carts. Start building that team. Get ready.

Go to the site. Talk on the forums. Sign my butt. Teach me to read. (A cookie to the first person you names that movie.)

Because this is the Idiotarod C.O.B.R.A. style. The world will never be the same again.

(I apologize for all of the labels... The Idiotarod crosses so many boundaries.)