Meatcake Week

To celebrate its one year anniversary, SuperSizedMeals.com has been having Meatcake Week. Cakes made out of meat. This of course will disgust many. Some will realize the majesty of the meatcake. Others will immediately go make their own. Either way, you know you want to look.

(Photo is curtousy of Martha Steward. You know if she made one, it's a good thing.)

More TSA fun: Man arrested for rubber band ball

"So the LEO grabbed my bag and he, myself, the TSA "boss," and a TSA agent went behind a curtain. They dug through my stuff and took the rubber band ball away for further screening. They came back with the rubber band ball and told the "TSA boss" that it was positive for flammable residue and that it had something metal at the core. He started up at me accusing me of wrongdoing and saying things about it being a "precursor" or a "trigger." I told him to "quit running at the mouth" and that it was "nothing of the sort." I explained that it had been in the trunk of my car for a long time and probably picked up a bit of oil or gas or something from that. I also told him that there was nothing at the core and that it was 100% rubber bands.

The cop started in on me, and I finally said, "look, I'll give you the ball. I just want to get on my flight." The TSA guy ignored me, and kept asking me what was in the center of the ball. I kept telling him it was nothing but rubber bands. The TSA took it away again and x-rayed it again and said there was something metallic in the center. I kept denying it and denying any wrong doing.

The cop then switched tactics and asked, "are you smuggling drugs?" I told him that was "outrageous" and produced my SIDA badge and my airline ID. I asked him if his question was serious. He started asking why I didn't have any checked luggage to which I replied, "Dude, I load bags all day. I know better than to check them." He again accused me of "smuggling something."

This had gone on for about 1/2 an hour and I knew the flight was leaving soon. I repeated, "you can have the rubber band ball. I just need to get home, so I need to get going." The LEO said, "you're not going anywhere." At that point, I knew I was in trouble."

Link.

(via Boing Boing)

Season Shot

Part of me thinks this has to be a joke. The other part thinks this is brilliant.

Season Shot is shotgun shells packed not with buckshot, but with... well, seasoning. So say you're hunting duck. Shoot it with a Honey Mustard load. Kills and seasons the bird all at once. No buckshot to pull out. It is environmentally sound.

I am saving this for next weeks sketch writing assignment which is going to be late night talk show monologues.

Please, do NOT forward this to the Vice President.

(via Boing Boing)

REMINDER! Sugar Cookie Grad Show! Tomorrow!

Come on. Only $5.
UCB Theater. 5:30 pm. Sunday, Nov. 12. Improv Graduation show. Just might be brilliant. When we are in the groove, we rock.

I sincerely love these folks and, yes, trust them. I say that last bit because i can be an egotistical ass. (Yes, I know that surprises no one.) I my desire to help, I can make assumptions that make others feel small. You know what they say about assumptions. They make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'mption'... wait a minute. Anyway, I hope that I can continue to work with them. Because they have taught me plenty. Tons. Massive damage of historical giant crabs worth of stuff. (Sorry. PS3 just came out in Japan and I have it on my brain.)

'Hitler' Teen In Protest of Self

Brooklyn student dresses up as Hitler for Halloween (South Park, anyone?). Gets in trouble. He then organzies walk to protest his own costume.

You know who this is directed at, don't you? Yes, I'm talking to you, Valet. You might want to think about this.

Where do they come from

More writing. Suffer suffer suffer. Joseph is doing a bit better, but only because I have to build him up a bit. He's got a part time job at the telemarketing company from Four Borders (no Dave doesn't work there anymore). But that job is going to lead to something more political, His girlfriend has also arrived from MA, so he's happy about that. I promise not to kill her... but not much else.

It was Wednesday so it was sketch class. I had written a bunch of sketches, tossed a bunch out. Settled on one idea, took a stab at it on Tuesday but t just wasn't happening. Then I put it off until 3 hours before class. I tried it again, did some quick edits to get it under 2 pages. Seem to go over well. Armando literally had no notes to give me. None. Said that there was probably reworking that would be done once it was being performed, but not much top do just on the page. Felt good... just not all that helpful.

And again, my ego is usually fine and needs no fluffing, thank you very much.

Anywhozits, I like to see what sites people come from to me lil' ol' blog. Many of these are from random Blogger blogs due do the random "Next Blog" button on the navbar. So let me honor a few of those here before I crash for the night.

I'm A Little Teapot from Debbie in Oklahoma. She likes, well, teapots!

Sai Shyam Page from Sai Shyam in Banglore, Karnataka, India. They actually linked to this site in their first post, but I think it was a test as that page has been deleted.

Donde Quedan Las Palabras from Diego Antonio Vivas Jiménez in Santiago de Cali, Valle del Cauca, Colombia. I think that translates to "Where did they leave the words?" I don't know.

The Incurable Allure of Carrots by Mr. Tangerine in Chicago, Illinois. Some very entertaining poems and stories and pictures.

The Phoenix Hearse is by an aeronautics engineer who loves her cars. She has a special feature once a week called Bitchy Monday. Guess what day it is on.

Shortbus

I saw the movie Shortbus on Monday. In case you don't know, it's that movie with the NOT simulated sex by the writer director of Hedwig and the Angry Itch. No, it is not porn. It we're is just a pretty light comedy. A post-millennial, post-9/11 New York sex fable about disconnection. It is not something that should be looked at too deeply (as the plot and characterization tend to fall apart under scrutiny). But as just a cute little rumination, it's very refreshing. And the sex is at first a bit distracting, but after the intro segment, it just becomes part of the fabric.

Picture of the Day: The Santorums

Caption this photo!

(thanks to KevlarG at the Improv Resource Center forums)

Wow. The reaction to the election was fast.

Rumsfeld resigns.
Anyone get the feeling the Republicans feel a bit like Faith Hill?

Edit: Yes, I know this was in the works. Clearly GW didn't call up Rummy this morning and say "Take a hike."

Let's gloat a little

It's the day after. And while we yet again are left in limbo about who will control the Senate with Virginia and Montana surely going to recount, the Democrats did handily retake the House. And I certainly could be saddened by the amount of bans on gay marriage that passed across the country, but thank god South Dakota rejected their almost-total ban on abortions. So, all in all, it's pretty sweet.

But I certainly remember how I felt after 2004 (and also similarly in 1994). That total shock to realize that I was so not in sync with so many of the countries voters. And may friends all felt the same. There was rumblings of "I'm moving to Canada" and "The terrorists have created a nation of fear mongers" and "This will destroy working families" and "It seems like the country just believes everything that FOX News says."

So it is with empathy (yet joy) that I followed the Wonkette's link to the Free Republic's conservative message boards to check out how they are reacting.

-"This is a truly disgusting night. Outside of 9-11, I cannot think of a worse day.
I really want to hurt somebody."

-"This is going to hurt senoirs, more taxes on s.s. and higher costs for medicare. This is going to hurt all young families with kids, taking away the kids exemption on the income tax, plus tax increases & all the money to pay for s.s. & health care & college for the illegals.
I bet half the people who voted Dem have no idea, they believe what they read in the paper & see in the MSM. Wait til they find out!!

Those DUmmies who want us out of Iraq, will find out Bush was right. The terrorists will come here to kill us. They are in Iraq cause we are, once we're gone, they will be here, all they want is all of us DEAD!"

-"The Jihadi's have won. They have proven they have a stronger will than America. They are now emboldened."

-"They can go to Canada...the only place we have left would be Australia! I love Australia as much as the next guy, but I'm an American, dammit! lol :)"

-"Hard to make a silver lining when I don't see the MSM changing. The people in this country are believing every word they say. It will be the same in 2008!"

Now, I will point out that there were plenty of well though out and balanced posts over there. Just as there are liberals who realize that the Democrats won by default and are still lacking a cohesive agenda and plan. But it is nice to see that, deep inside, we aren't all the different.

So *hugs* to all the sad conservative fellow Americans out there. I know what you are going through. It sucks and it hurts. I feel for you. I really do. Now excuse me while I got drink another glass of champagne and do another dance of jubilation.

The Tivo Curse

Mamma SixSider wrote to me of one of the problems with Tivo. She took a bfreak from election converage to watch something she had Tivo'ed... only to be hit with more election ads that she thought she was down with! Luckily, it's Tivo so you can bloop'be'loop though them.

By the way, congratz SixSider 'rents! Glad to see you have been de-Santorum-ed. Yes, he was replaced with an anti-gin control, pro-life, possibly anti-gay adoption, maybe anti-same sex marriage Democrat. But, hey, it's not Santorum.

And something totally different... Nerd Gear

A craftsman (yes, I said craftsman) is swelling a spiffy glowing Halo energy sword on eBay. Pricey and you can't really hit things with it without it breaking, but still spiffy. I guess you could use it the spread a soft butter.

Nice Needler and Plasma Rifle too.

I wish I had that level of skill. Not that I'd use it to make replicas of video game weapons. I'd make... probably puppets. Large weird puppets.

More election day fun: Fights in Texas... no, actual fights.

Representative Patrick Rose was attacked by Rick Green, the man he beat four years ago. Atacked at a polling site. A polling place at a Baptist church. Green apparently was shouting "You need to stop lying" and "Let him defend himself, the big baby."

Hays County Election Administrator Joyce Cowan said the polling site has been busy and the incident doesn't appear to have affected voting. "It's been a busy polling site all day," she said. "I don't think it did anything but give the people in line something to look at."

Sometimes I wish I lived in Texas. No, not really.

(via Wonkette)

Election Night!

I'm taking a break from writing for awhile to watch some election night coverage.

I love election nights. So much crazy fun. And always more fun when it is not just a night of crushing defeats for your believe system.

The exit polls are of course just one pile of BS after another but still entertaining.

CBS is reporting that the feeling inside the Whitehouse is "glum." Welcome to my world, buckos.

Looks like Lieberman will win in CT. Considering that he is a Republican acting Democrat running as an Independent, it's not big surprise. He is the political equivalent of a straight acting lesbian bi-sexual cross dresser male transsexual female impersonator in drag. He appeals to no one or everyone.

NY went the way we all thought. No surprise there. Menendez (D) won in NJ... maybe the office vandalism this morning worked. In RH Whitehouse (D) won, which supposedly is a big deal although I don't know why. But he ran on the slogan "Have a Whitehouse in Washigton you can trust" which is cute but just a bit easy.

Governors seem to be going both ways. Governors do that.

Cardin (D) beat Steele (R) in Maryland. Cardin had a Michael J. Fox ad. Steele had a rebuttal ad with his little sister who has MS. So both favor stemcell research, but I guess a time-traveling teenage Nixon loving werewolf Hollywood doctor with Parkinson's beats a little sister with MS. I believe that is up there with "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."

(EDIT: Maker that "a time-traveling teenage Nixon loving werewolf Hollywood doctor with Parkinson's beats a little sister ex-Mrs. Mike Tyson with MS." Who knew? Well, everyone apparently.)

Dan Rather is supposedly co-anchoring with Jon Steward tonight. Sweetness.

I take it back. There is definitely a god... just look at the banana!

Bananas, An Atheist's "Nightmare." It is all so clear now. Easy to grip surface, hand to open, color coded system to tell if it is ripe. Clearly God exists. (I won't go into that an easy to eat fruit makes it god for animals to eat and travel with, thus distributing the banana seed farther, thus making evolution come to such a nice "design"... no, I won't.)
Bonus points for Kirk Cameron.

Vote, damn it!

Just go vote. While I would love for you to see everything the way I do and vote the same way I do (go WFP), much more important is that you vote and vote what you believe. Maybe there is acanidate you love. Maybe there is a canidate you hate. Maybe the only one you can stomach is one that has no chance of winning. Doesn't matter. Just vote.

In case you weren't sure of my politics...Yes, I like George... George Michael! Zing!

Sugar Cookie

Are you a man or a woman? It's up to you!

NYC Board of Health is considering allowing peopel to change their birt certificates to whatever gender they damn well please, no special surgery needed. Could become a nice end around the issue of same sex marriage... if one of the partners is willing to legally change their sex. I am stating for the record right now that I am all for this. I have no idea the possible legal/social chaos this might cause. But bring it on!

(via NYTimes)

Gears of War and I'm a whore

Remember a month ago when I played Gears of War for a few minutes? Well, it's coming out in a few days. I have to say that the hype machine on this one has gone a bit crazy... but considering it is releasing right at the PS3 and the Wii launches, it is no surprise. The two pronged attack of Gears and Viva Piñata (warning: if you click through to the Viva site you will have a horrible song inserted into the deep recesses of your brain) plus a info blitz on the no-release-date-yet-announced Halo 3 and the launch of the 360 HD-DVD drive all seem to be Microsoft's defensive strategy. We'll see how it works.

Although, since the PS3 is only launching with 400,00 copies in North America, I don't see how the PS3 won't sell out. So it is a question of whether folks denied the PS3 (or possibly the Wii) will pick up a 360 out of frustration. Seems less like an issue in the first three weeks than an issue for around Thanksgiving.

Anywho, I'm a video game whore. Just sayin'.

Here is a pretty standard video game trailer. Very Lord of the Rings-ish.
I much prefer this one. Thank you for not setting it to heavy metal. I hope game PR people/makers are beginning to release that not all gamers are 13 year old boys.
It has actually been awhile since I was excited about a video game to be honest. And I have plenty of questions about Gears' gameplay. But I most not let it distract me from the damn book.

The Democrats will rape your daughter

Sigh.

(via krum as a bagel via Wonkette)

The Body

Some wonderful scans of historical anatomy books. I love these things. For me there is something beautiful (and disturbing) about these drawings. And fascinating. Some of them are not for the weak of heart. Get it? Heart?

(via Boing Boing)

Child's Play

The video game devoted website/webcomic Penny Arcade has just started their annual charity program Child's Play. This is their 4th year doing it. Originally started in response the the media blaming the world's woes on video games, it sends toys, games and cash to childrens hospitals in the U.S., Canada, U.K., Austrailia and Egypt. Last year they raised over $600,000.

Writing, Insomnia, Random bits

I've been writing, on and off, all night. I haven't been talking about the book much, I know. It's... a very different experience. Last book was a cathartic joy. This is... haunting. The world surround Joseph O'Clock is a twisted and dark place. The comedy I was shooting for is still there, but it darts around in the shadows. It is a scary book. Not frights, but there is a beast underneath the books skin that wiggles and squirms, itching to break through.

Allen NoLastTime from Four Borders had it easy. But that was in part because his book was about rebirth and over coming loss. Or at least accepting it (or defying it). Joseph's path... Man, I don't know what I, Emelphin and Quill (full name Qilzhqtylrophffffftcough) are doing to bore Joseph.

The first moment I realized that the book had delved into something I didn't quite understand was when Samantha attacks Stephan in the school yard. I knew the scene was coming, knew it was coming from the moment I conceive of the story. But her ferociousness surprised me. The way she scattered the colored chalk at her feet and was upon Stephan's back, her teeth sinking into his shoulder. Joseph's panic, his sweaty hands, the box slipping to the concrete. Bobby flailing at Samantha, desperate to protect his on friend. The screams from the students and the yells from the teachers as Joseph finally gets the box and press the buttons to all three children. Their bodies convulsing as the electric shock surged through their bodies.

And I never expect Samantha to get back up and turn on Joseph, blood on her lips... and the standoff that followed.

And it has gotten darker since then.

This has always been my problem with the whole Judeo-Christian "God has a plan/God works in mysterious ways" thing. Either you have a benevolent God or you have one that functions on such a different level that "benevolent" has no meaning. But the God in the Book of Job accepts Satan's plan to torture Job... just to prove a point. It is not a test of Job. It is a pissing contest.

Perhaps that's what this whole series is: Why SixSider thinks God is an ass.

Anyway, I didn't intend to write about all of that. I meant to mention somethings that have bothered me with elections coming on Tuesday.

- The election ads have gone insane. I don't even get the Republican ones. The Dems ads all seem to be just listing Bush's campaign promises from 2004. Not listing things he didn't do... just listing them. And then there are the mass of apologies this year. Alan Hevesi's "I was stupid" ads over the last few days are particularly entertaining.

- The whole "What do we call Hilary Clinton?" question is interesting. I know I refer to her has Hilary, which I realise is wrong. But we always refer to First Ladies by their first names. I don't know how we break ourselves from that.

- Obama. I'm torn. There is no one out there I would rather vote for in 2008, but I have no idea how he'd react to a national campaign. I have no idea how he'd actually run the country. He is farther left than the his image actually is. I'd hate to see him have to bend center for the Presidency... and I really don't think Senator Clinton is electable.

- I haven't been looking to closely, but why has gas prices dropped so much over the last ten months? What changed? The conspiracy theorist in me wants to know.

- Cheney is going hunting during the election. 'Nuff said.

- Oh, John Kerry. You would have thought the word "Us" would be a uniting word. Not a word that ends up destroying any career you may have had left. Of course, he did leave "Us" out and that was his problem.

- Haggard. First, whenever I quickly see the head lines, I see "Haggar admits to buying meth, getting gay massage," and I picture that funny little viking. But beyond that, is he going to blame it on booze too? Or being molested? I'm not saying these folks weren't victims, but take some damn responsibility!

- And what is it with the 11th hour outing of Republicans? What the hell happened? Foley, Haggard, Mark Hyman (a maybe), Charlie Crist (another maybe). I loved Crist's response to the a gay-marriage question: "“Marriage is a relationship like my mother and father had, like I had before I got divorced.” Apparently the 50-year old bachlor was married for a very short time in 1979. Man, if all of the closeted Republicans came out they might find they'd have a whole new power base.

- George Allen should be given a tv show. We'd be just like Borat. Send him to Bangkok and Bombay and Sierra Leon. Call it "Delirious George."

- Hussein's conviction. Actually, I have nothingto say on the subject. I'm just glad that Trial of the Century is over. I'm sure the next one wis only a few years off.

France: "Video Games Are Art"

Oh, France, how I adore you! You were way ahead of the us on the film = art and the comics = art thing, and now you are recognizing video games as art.

In March, Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres, France's minister of culture, pinned a medal from the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres - a prize awarded to acknowledge cultural accomplishments - on three prominent video game designers. Now he pushing video games to be recognized as a cultural industry eligible for tax breaks (just like the film industry in France is).

"Call me the minister of video games if you want - I am proud of this. People have looked down on video games for far too long, overlooking their great creativity and cultural value."

And we get Senator Clinton and Jack Thompson. I wonder if Johnny Deep has a room for rent.

(via Kotaku)

Speaking of my improv class...

Next Sunday (that would be Nov. 12) at 5:30 pm will be my improv classes graduation show. So just head on over to the UCB Theater (307 W 26th St. -- that's 26th and 8th). I mean, come on, it's just $5. Will be over in about an hour.

Sunday Practice

Had practice today. I felt a bit scattered and out of sorts, but it was still good. Mr. Schwartz was unable to attend today, so we had Amey Goerlich, who I adore, came. She's also in Krompf. Yeah, I have a crush on all of Krompf. Anyway, it was great to get another eye. I MUST STOP TRYIN' TO WRITE SCENES. CURSE ME! Oh, I'm just being hard on myself. It was all good.

Quick vote - What name do you like best for an improv team?

1. Dog English
2. Sugar Cookie
3. Fosey Clumps
4. Shit Mystery
5. Mystery Shit
6. Rayp Seen
7. Snowpants

All of these have actually been floated to one extent or the other (except for Snowpants, which we aren't 'allowed' to use). For extra fun, guess my favorite.

So who are all those blog links?

Last month, after switching over to Blogger Beta (which I love for the most part), I re-did all of my links. Not by choice, but because they just didn't translate over when I changed templates. But Blogger makes it super easy to change them do it was all good. But in case you are interested in who they all are an why they are there (especially since some of them are so rarely updated)...

The Smirking Valet: She was in my Improv 201, has become a good friend, and is just a funny gal. Her blog is bit like the Nanny Diaries meets the Adams Family. Horrible description.

Matt Little: Mr. Little is from my 301 and a comedian. He does stand up (which I haven't seen). But he's got the funny, I know that much.

Anthony King's Lunch Truck: My 101 teacher. You can catch him at UCB with Rueben Williams and in assorted other things. A show he co-wrote Gutenberg! The Musical! is hilarious and coming to Off-Broadway at the 59E59 theater Nov 21-Dec 31. Great show. Go see it.

Joe Wengert: What Did You Change It To?: My 201 teacher. One of my favorite improvisors out there. Can be seen with Reuben Williams at UCB and around town with Krompf! Best initiations in scenes that I have ever seen.

Chris Gethard: Morrissey and Fist Fighting, Mostly: My 301 teacher. Not to take anything away from any of my other teachers, Gethard is a frackin' incredible teacher. I love to think about comedy and he lets me do that while not letting me get so into my head that I suck. His blog is mostly and Brazilian Jujitsu.

It's Pat Baer!: Mr Baer is the technical director at UCB. I don't know him, I just think he deserves some praise. He also has a newish podcast.

Will Hines and Paul Scheer: Don't know either... they're just improvsors I enjoy.

Improv Everywhere: Guerrilla theater/pranksters/whatever you want to call it. Just go watch some of the stuff they've done. It's pranking with no malice.

Rejected Jokes, down in the What I'm Watching section, is of course Ben Schwartz's project. He has become our regular Sunday coach... and manages to just fill us with passion for the funny.

Get Off My Lawn!!!!: From The Planet Jake, it just started. But he is one of my all time favorite people. I used to live with him and game with him and work with him and hang with him. All praise The Planet.

Jolie Laide: She is an amazing artist although wouldn't like describe herself in those word. Her Tiny posts and photos capture the small moments in NYC with such clarity and beauty. Some editor really needs to pick her up and give her a book deal... which I doubt she'd take. At least give her a gallery showing. She is also just a great person.

Neil Gaiman: An author. I love him as a writer, but I put his bog up because it is just darn interesting stuff.

The others are assorted tech blogs and such I follow closely.

Comments

I'm going to try to be more active about reposnding to comments on my posts. Yeah, like the ten of you who read this thing actually care.