Envy

We had TY, Robot had practice yesterday. I had a good day. I'm starting to think simpler, cleaner. There are a bunch of skills that I am having trouble with (specifically specifics... man, I just suck at that and I know it would help so much). But in general my goal of not thinking so much is helping a lot.

Later, I went to see the class show of six in the group. They are good. Very good. On one level, I am envious of their class itself, as they are a darn talented group. But I am also envious of my teammates as performers. They were all fantastic yesterday. I've been feeling like the weak link lately. I don't say that as a bid for sympathy or as an invitation for "Oh, no, Six! That is not true!" True or not, it is a feeling I've had for the last month plus. I definitely have my strengths. For example, I think I'm pretty good at making connections. But my scene work has felt weak lately. Again, I'm not worried about it. I don't think I am blocked or at my peak. I am getting better everyday.

But I watched them yesterday and they rocked. And it crossed my mind, "Why can't I do that NOW?"