"But why did she marry K-Fed in the first place, Daddy?"

Walking through Park Slope, I was just behind a father and his eight-ish daughter. I, as I am want to do, listen in...

Dad: "Well, people go to to rehab to learn how to not take drugs, I guess. With drugs, it is sometimes very hard for people to say no if drugs are available to them. In rehab, they can stay away from all of the drugs and learn to live without them."

Daughter: "But why did she leave the first rehab place?"

Dad: "I don't know, sweetie. Sometimes the desire for drugs is stronger than the desire to stay off them."

Daughter: "Did she shave her hair because of drugs?"

Dad: "I don't know, sweetie."

Daughter: "What about her baby? Who is taking care of her baby? Do they let the baby in rehab?"

At this point I could tell that Dad was really really hating tabloids, E!, the Internet, and each and everyone of his daughter's friends.