I have all of these "qualifications," this checklist I run through whenever I first feel something that resembles "attraction":
• Past the mid-twenties, not too deep into the mid-forties.
• Smart.
• Make's me laugh.
• Opinionated.
• Not moralistic/dogmatic.
• Working towards something.
• Reads.
• Quirky in some way (which should be everyone... but isn't).
• Cute smile.
• Both outgoing and bashful.
• Single.
• Female.
• Likes boys.
• Etc, etc.
Another problem comes when ANYONE actually matches this list. My immediate response is "Hell! I should be interested in them!" This sometimes ignores whether or not I actually like the person. Perhaps because I so rarely develop crushes (although I actually do enjoy having them), I jump at the opportunity. But, early on, I realize that my pseudo-crush is just based on The List. So I start to doubt it. Then I wonder if my doubt is doubt just because I think I should doubt it.
I think too much, that much is clear.
I certainly miss the days I would like someone for months, we'd both get drunk, she (out of frustration of me just staring at her all the time and not doing anything about it) announces that I'm being stupid, I kiss them and all is dandy. Ah, those were the days.
Russia's The Dead Hand
15 years ago