Elsewhere, I was challenged to write a the worst sex scene I could (not the worst sex, but the worst writing). I dare not post it all here but here's a taste:
He lifts her chin and locks eyes. Her breath holds still in anticipation. Their lips meet, mouths quickly parting, tongues suddenly darting like serpentine F-16s dogfighting over Iraq. Their passion is immediate and on fire, a Paris riot, a Detroit Pistons victory.
His one hand holds the back of her neck, fingers digging into her hair. The other hand slips up the back of her blouse, working up the spine. She shifts, rolling her body on top of his, pressing hard like a Kopple interview. As she grinds down, he can feel his pants already straining like Pakistan straining to survive after an earthquake, like Nicole Riche straining for respectability by writing a novel.
Their hands are are seeking and searching like Special Forces looking for Osama in the hills of Afghanistan. Their hands desperately want to expose flesh like Scooter Libby wanting to expose Valerie Plame. Their bodies are a very special episode of E.R. guest starring John Stamos. He rolls her onto her back. She arches up into him, rising like gas prices in a hurricane, and he cups her large bosom, firm as G.W.'s war on terror. Their excitement spreads through their bodies like an avian bird flu pandemic through Asia.
You get the idea. Well, I posted it over in the Erotic Fiction section of the NaNo forums (those forums are a very interesting read by the way). Just because I was proud of how bad it was. Anyway, some on saw it and was amuse and looked at my profile and read the opening excerpt of my story. She liked it and read it to her husband on the phone, and he liked it too. So she dropped me a message saying so.
It was just so...nice. And encouraging. I've been a bit down this evening. I am in the "Mayhem Chapter," rapidly approaching the moment I don't want to write. And so need to. As far as stealing from my own life, it is the one that is closest. My friend Cara will be replaced with Dave and say very different things, but this is the moment my main character and I will become one.
I have a bottle of wine ready.
Anyway, just a thanks to "Rochelle from Minnesota." You made my night.
Russia's The Dead Hand
15 years ago
