Saturday, June 10

Boy Scouts of America Memorial Fountain

Be prepared.
This came to me way of Papa SixSider. This seems, um, inappropriate, at least in the context of the Boy Scouts stance on homosexuality.

Not that there is anything weird about a naked man standing over a Boy Scout.

The Patriots at P.S. 122

I want to write a review of this show, but I am not sure were to start. But in case anyone is planning to go see it tonight, I thought it was my duty to post something. So here is the letter I sent to P.S. 122 about the show The Patriots.

After seeing Schoolhouse Roxx's The Patriot on Friday night, I myself fill with questions. That is of course what great theater does. I am hoping perhaps you can help me with them or at least forward them to Adam Dugas.


-What sort of criteria does P.S. 122 use to book shows? I can imagine that The Patriots looked interesting when it was a one sentence idea scribbled on a cocktail napkin.

-How much lead time did this show have before opening? Three days? A week? I am assuming it was not more than that. But I am very curious how the company puts together a show so quickly.

-How much money (if any) did P.S. 122 spend on this production? It appears to have gone to flag purchase, which is wise as the flags can be used in the future. 4th of July is coming up!

-How do you set prices for performances? $15 for 45 minutes seems a little steep, but since I was relieved when it was over, I understand that these things are hard to balance.

-I absolutely loved the idea of drawing the entire text from historical documents and records (honestly, I do). I am curious as to the decision to use so few sources. It seemed to me that the Gettysburg Address, Washington's inaugural speech, the Day of Infamy speech, our declaration of war into World War 1, any of a hundred Vietnam era speeches, etc etc, would have fit well in with that idea. But as it appears that it was difficult to creatively use the pieces that were used, perhaps other less obvious choices would be too much to ask. It also would have made the show longer which might have caused the audience discomfort.

-I have no questions about the band as they were quite talented.

-Were the songs drawn from historical documents? I mean beyond the ones that were old chestnuts. It was hard to tell as the lyrics were so simplistic that they may have come from just about anything. Say like a cocktail napkin.

-Was the show supposed to be campy? Or serious? Or both? I am unclear as it didn't seem to achieve either. For example, I couldn't decide if the smoke machine was being used in jest or because it just happened to be lying around.

-I like that the show's message was about as deep as an inflatable kiddie pool. This made the show easy to digest as its viewpoint has been stated simpler and clearer in a thousand other places. Once I got the show's point (after about five minute) I didn't have to pay attention anymore. Bravo!

-The idea to "borrow" the Rumsfeld poetry... ( http://www.slate.com/id/2081042/ ) ...was that a commentary on America's consumer culture where ideas are perpetually repackaged... or was the show running short (at 35 minutes) and was used to fill the show to a robust 45 minutes?


I still have a hundred other questions. Thank you for putting on a show that made me think so much in so little time for $1.66 for every 5 minutes. Looking forward to a response,
SixSider


I want to restate that the band was very good.

UPDATE: P.S. 122 sent me a very nice response. They are good people.

Thursday, June 8

Diorama-o-rama!

On Tuesday I hit another one of Freddy's Bar & Backroom's fantastic nights: Diorama Lodge! And it was, as is to be expected, fantastic. My friend Emily (who could be heard of This American Life a few weeks back... how much does that rock? a lot, is how much). She has a diorama team. Very intimidating. But I was pleased with my first time efforts. Sadly I didn't bring a camera. I thought about it, but couldn't find my flashcard as I was trying to get out the door. I did leave my diorama at Freddy's, so if no one has taken it home yet it should still be there. The Fall of Lucifer (the theme was of course 666). I had good composition, but I realize the was to make a trully great diorama is to think outside the box... as it were.

Anywhozits, I have a big ol' blister from the glue gun. No jokes about me and glue guns, please. I am still traumatized.

Monday, June 5

Mentos & Diet Coke

Mentos and Diet Coke react strongly with each other. Not sure of the science. Probably involves pH balances and half-lives and elves. But that isn't important. What is important is that you get a crap load of it and two guys in lab coats, you can create art. Or at least of backyard version of the Bellagio fountain.

Yes and Stephen Colbert

Colbert gave the commencement address at Knox College. Good all around but he ends will a bit of life lesson that I am trying to live by lately. And, yes, it relates to improv.

"But you seem nice enough, so I’ll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply for your first job, don’t wear these robes. Medieval garb does not instill confidence in future employers—unless you’re applying to be a scrivener. And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you’ll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.

So, say “yes.” In fact, say “yes” as often as you can. When I was starting out in Chicago, doing improvisational theatre with Second City and other places, there was really only one rule I was taught about improv. That was, “yes-and.” In this case, “yes-and” is a verb. To “yes-and.” I yes-and, you yes-and, he, she or it yes-ands. And yes-anding means that when you go onstage to improvise a scene with no script, you have no idea what’s going to happen, maybe with someone you’ve never met before. To build a scene, you have to accept. To build anything onstage, you have to accept what the other improviser initiates on stage. They say you’re doctors—you’re doctors. And then, you add to that: We’re doctors and we’re trapped in an ice cave. That’s the “-and.” And then hopefully they “yes-and” you back. You have to keep your eyes open when you do this. You have to be aware of what the other performer is offering you, so that you can agree and add to it. And through these agreements, you can improvise a scene or a one-act play. And because, by following each other’s lead, neither of you are really in control. It’s more of a mutual discovery than a solo adventure. What happens in a scene is often as much a surprise to you as it is to the audience.

Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say “yes.” And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say “yes” back.

Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.”

And that’s The Word."


(Originally pointed out by bourbonsoul)

Sunday, June 4

Project Improviser: The Last Update

Well, I didn't make the cut, but that was no surprise seeing the talent that was there. I was definitely out of my league. But it was good fun. It should be an entertaining show. The first episode should be up sometime between the 12th and 16th (they are aiming for the 12th). There may be some of me in there (although there were 22 people trying out so I probably won't get a lot of air time.

Anyway, I thought my scenes went well, but our games were a little lost. We weren't really going anywhere.

It was all good, but I do have that post audition exhaustion right now.

Saturday, June 3

LOST FanFic

I am not a fan of FanFiction. I do enjoy mocking it. But on a dare, I wrote a short piece based on LOST. It is called "Love Song."
___________


"Hey! Hey! I'm here! Here I am!"

He called out into the jungle, again and again. But yet again there was no response. He was truly alone.

When was the last time I saw some? he thought. How long has it been? He ached so bad to see someone, to feel the touch of another living soul. It was hopeless, but he kept yelling none the less.

"Yo! Anyone!? Anyone there!?"

What if I am the last one alive? This thought had crossed his mind quite a bit over the last few days as he got closer to the beach, in hopes that maybe he would find survivors there. What if there is no one left on the island? Hell, what if there is no one left in the world? Wouldn't that be just my luck? Actually being the last one in the world, and not even have someone to be with? Not even have the option to repopulate the earth?

"Come on! Here I am! Anyone!?"

Suddenly he was in shadow. He looked up and realized that he was dwarfed by two huge figures. At first he though they must be statues of ancient gods, but then he realized they moved! They're alive. Their voices bellow at him, deep like sounds from the earth. Gripped with fear but also desperate for any sort of communication with a living being, he called out to them.

"Hey! Down here! Here! I'm alive! Help!"

One reached down and lifted him up. Its appendage was fleshy and dry, but warm. The mixture of gratitude of not being alone and the paralyzing fear of these strange pale creatures cascaded through him. They continued to speak to each other in their rumbling in comprehensible language.

"Fellows! Or ladies! Thank god you found me! I've been so alone. Have you seen any of my kind? Are there any left? Can you understand me?!"

The one holding him gently passed him into the hand of the other one, who was taller and longer. This second one had rougher flesh. He tried to interpret its language and its facial expression. He wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure from its tone that it was angry.

"Hey! Let's be friends! Really! I'm just so damn alone! Please! Take me with you! Maybe I can help you."

The great being holding him became silent and glared down at him. Is it slowly smiling? Yes, maybe it understands. Maybe they will befriend me! Perhaps now I will finally be safe.

Suddenly the creature closed its fingers around him and he felt his bones snap and his muscles rip and his organs crush. In an instant he was dead.



Saywer dropped the frog to the jungle floor and walker away to Hurley's horror.

Project Improvider Update

So tomorrow night is the big first day. I will be thrown in with 7 other (more experieced) improvisers and we shall perform a harold (a long form of improv). I have no idea how many of these groups there will be. I am over my pettiness about not understanding the process and am over any nervousness, although I am sure that wil kick back in tomorrow around 3pm.

Check the Project Improviser site next week. I still have no idea when the site wil actually go live.

Another note: Their is NO Project Improviser performance this Wednesday.

Friday, June 2

Extraordinary Machine

First off, I have the best most wonderful loving greatest parents EVER. Yes, ever. Bar none. I hardly ever say it (or probably realize it), but it is the absolute truth. I trully love them to the depth of my heart.

Now, on to business. My current song of power. Extraordinary Machine sung by Fioana Apple. Yes, Fiona Apple. You would have thunk it?

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb
But I'm good at being uncomfortable
so I can't stop changing all the time

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go
And won't go slow so as not to focus and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide as long as
they go fast from whence he came
But he's no good at being uncomfortable
so he can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it
I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view
and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to
move in my own way
And say I've been getting
along for long
before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family
It happens so everybody cares
And wears the sheeps clothes while they chaperone
Furious you're looking down your nose at me while you appease
Courteous to try and help but let me set your mind at ease

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine

Do I so worry you
No need to hurry to my side, it's very kind
But it's to no avail
I don't want the pill
I promise you everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it - I'm an extraordinary machine


On the other hand the singer I would give my heart and body to right now? Liz Phair. Man, am I ever a wuss.

Thursday, June 1

Project Improviser Update - Humph.

Well, this is just great. I now feel like a total ass... and a little duped. I just have to learn to keep my frackin' mouth shut.

Turns out I was not selected as one of 8 people. I was selected as one of who knows how many people who get to audition on Sunday. From THAT they will select 8 people who will go onto the rest of the contest.

Doh! Now it makes a lot more sense why I was picked with such little experienece... what the hell to they care? They can cut me on Sunday! So my minor cool news has become just a whatever news that might turn into minor cool news after Sunday.

Not a big deal EXCEPT that I told a bunch of folks so that they could plan ahead and show up next Wednesday. Including my entire improv class. I told them today and won't see them until next Thursday. So some of them may very well show up on Wednesday and go "Where the hell is he? What a liar!"

I must just keep my mouth shut.

So now the deal is: I may or may not be in Project Improvisor of Wednesday.

Humph.

Wednesday, May 31

Will we ever recapture the magic that was 1984?

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai, Beverly Hills Cop, Blood Simple, Ghostbusters, The Killing Fields, Repo Man, Stranger Than Paradise, The Terminator, Amadeus, The Karate Kid, A Nightmare On Elm Street, once Upon A Time In America, Romancing The Stone, Starman, Birdy, All of Me, The Brother From Another Planet, Gremlins, The Muppets Take Manhattan, Splash, Top Secret!, The Ice Pirates, Night Of The Comet, The Ewok Adventure, The Last Starfighter, Police Academy, Revenge Of The Nerds, Sixteen Candles, Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, Swing Shift, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, Dune, The Flamingo Kid, Footloose, Red Dawn, Bachelor Party, C.H.U.D., Hardbodies, Purple Rain, Stop Making Sense

Tuesday, May 30

BE MORE FUNNY!

That last post was just sad and self-indulgent and reeked of self-pity.

Listening to NPR yesterday and learned that in Papau New Guinea one of the biggest sex filled day is the celebration of the Yam Festival. I guess it is okay to have sex with anyone, regardless of martial status. That is how they celebrate the yam. How do we American's celebrate the yam? We don't! It MAYBE gets sideshow billin' on Thanksgiving. Do we have any tubers that we celebrate with sex with strangers? NO!

On the other hand, the radio report was about the rampant spread of AIDS in Papau New Guinea. Win some, lose some.

What else have I learned recently? Red Envelope is selling leather beer holsters. However they're all sold out.

I had something up on Overheard in New York, and of course I had a typo.

Saw X-Men 3 (oops. Sorry. X-Men: The Last Stand). Heh. It was loud, poorly written, but servicible. But explain to me this: If you are just planning on killing the kid, and can lift the Golden Gate Bridge, why not just drop it on him? Or at least ram in into his room?

Ghost Rider trailer. I enjoy watching Nicky Cage hit his head or catch on fire... but beyond that it sure looks like Spawn on a Motorcycle. And that is no Snakes on a Plane.

I went to Trader Joe's in Manhattan. It was wrong. Not the same as on the West Coast. Not at all. It looks right... but it feels just wrong. It's like Zaibar's on Mel Rose. It made me very sad.

But I bought same very tasty rice crackers. Love their rice crackers.

TV season is in hiatus and the summer movies are looking bleak. Lookin'forward to Superman Returns and Pirates 2. And I am sure I will relish The Break Up. Unless it has a happy ending. No happy ending for you!

Causing damage

Sigh.

Even when one tries your best to not continue to damage those close to you, the littlest thing can do it. It's very frusterating. My very existance stretches across the internetawebthingy and I either have to become invisible or just stop worrying about it.

I like to share my interests with people, I want to have them share them with me. I want to build a circle of friends that is based off of:
•A Shared Joy of the Ridiculous
•An Appreciation of Pop-Culture and High-Culture
•Humor
•Not Sex
•Food
•Respect
•Creativity in all it's forms

I spend all day calling myself out for crap, it is tiring being called out for something silly.

Okay, rant over. Sunday is the first taping of Project Improviser. The book is being edited in a frenzy (although I have a mid-chapter that I'm holding off on until June 24th and the Mermaid Day Parade). I am slowly building a community... but I am getting tired of drama.

Monday, May 29

Project Improviser!


PROJECT IMPROVISER is a new internet video show that is a reality competition for long form improv. A group of eight performers will be chosen and each week they will work on a different form, which they will perform at School Night. They will then get evaluated by a panel of judges and each week one person will be eliminated. And along the way, they will have various other fun challenges that they will participate in.

I just found out I will one of the eight. I have a feeling I will be the greenhorn, the diamond in the rough, the darkhorse, the outsider, the unknown. I am very excited and just a tad scared.

I don't know when the webisodes will be going up (but our first taping is Sunday the 4th). The first live performances/contests will be Wednesdays at 11pm at The Upright Citizens Brigade starting June 7th.

Here is the site: PROJECT IMPROVISER. (Yes, nothing is there yet.)

Tuesday, May 23

Sita Sings the Blues


As you know I just love mash ups. This isn't really a mash up. More of a great mixing of genres. I find this extremely charming. So I present to you...

Sita Sings the Blue

Saturday, May 20

How I spend my evenings

I started taking improv classes recently. It's been eons since I have flexed my performance muscles and it feels so frackin' fantastic to get up infront of people again. I remember that one of the reasons I stopped performing was that I spoke too quickly and slurred my words. But it seems that I am getting slower in my old age.

So part of the deal with the classes is that we're supposed to see as much improv as we can. Well, I can see a lot. And I have seen a lot. Tons and tons of improv. What is enjoyable about seeing shows at UCB is that a lot of the erformers are on different teams. You can get to know their personal styles and then watcvh how it fies into different groups. What it does do is make me want to play. Man, do i ever want to play.

So many evenings go like this for me. Head to the Tea Lounge with the computer and the novel and work on editing for a couple of hours. Then I head to UCB and continue editing between shows. Then I come home. Not thrilling, I realize. But it gets me out of the house.

Last night I got to see Lonesome Jack, which was of course fantastic and to short, but that mattered little since I had to get to UCB to see Death By RooRoo. But something occured to me while watching the show. I'm not even sure I want to discuss it as it brings up thorny issues. But I am working realy hard with being honest with myself and others.

Anyway, here's the deal: Why do I find myself attracted to almost every woman I see on stage? Okay, that's a big exaggeration, but there is truth to it. I am absolutely at a point in my life where I cannot be involved with anyone. It is such a firm belief of mine right now that I tend not to respond to anyone. But then I see a someone on stage, in the moment, and it just gets me. Deep in the stomach. Most often it is women who play unusual instruments. Seriously, I have no idea why this is the case. It has happened at UCB a couple of times, but it is less consistent. At UCB, I get turned on (for lack of a better word) when a woman does tha perfect scene, when see is absolutely in the moment and hits just the right tone. And then, when she steps out of the scene, when she steps to the back wall, and I watch that grin, that joy, of what she just created... seriously, I am pretty sure there is nothing hotter.

Now, what bugs me is that this low level/short term infutation is based on nothing but a performance that they are givingthe entire audience. It's not for me, but there is that back part of my brain that reads it as such. Without trying to creep out anyone who might read this, I see that playful glimmer in a certain flutist's eyes as she is singing, and my stomache goes all a flitter as if it were directed at me. I realize that this is the power of perfortmance/fame. I just like to think I am immune to that sort of thing. But, lately...

I suppose that right now it is a safe way for me to feel physicial and emotional attraction without having to get anywhere near the actually having a relationship. Which of course makes me sad. I wish I could just turn that off and just not feel the desire for companionship. But of course I can't.

The only other potential news right now is that I have applied to be in "Project: Improviser." It will be a weekly America's Next Top Model Chief Idol thing at UCB starting in June. 8 performers, each week one will get cut. There will also be web episodes. Very very slim chance I'll get picked, but I sent in my info and my old Survivor Application video and we'll see. I should hear next weekend. send good thoughts my way.

Friday, May 19

Lazy Ramadi

This is just a beautiful sign of the world we live in.

Background if you don't spend as much timew on the internet as I do:
SNL had a video called "Lazy Sunday" that founds its way to the internet and became a huge success. Then some folks did a west coast version called "Lazy Monday," which in turn spawned "Lazy Muncie," with in turn spawn this:


Oh, what a beautiful world.

Wednesday, May 17

The flip side of United 93

To me, this appears exploitive. (requires quicktime)

It looks like Pearl Harbor. But I have never been an Oliver Stone fan.

Monday, May 15

United 93

Watching the movie United 93 in an empty theater at 5pm on a Monday was perhaps the best way to see it. It is movie that you should make up your own mind about, more than any film I've seen in good long while. It is not a movie that you should be comparing notes about, sharing your 'favorite scenes,' talking about which actor you though was great or which was terrible. It's a movie that you need to take into yourself and reflect on your own feelings...both about the movie and the true event on which it is based.

First the things that matter less. It is well made, well written and well performed. No one performance stands out, because no one character is given prominence. There is no fancy writing, no fancy lighting, no fancy editing. And that is how it should be. It takes you through the events of that morning and ends where it should with minimal exposition. It is both unflinching and heavy handed. As far as I can tell it has no agenda besides presenting the story as well as it can. A story that we will never no the real truth of.

Stories are important. Bed time stories, fictional stories, stories of our past, stories of history. September 11th gave each of us on particular story to tell: where you were. No event since the sixties shootings of Kennedy, Kennedy and King has the same weight of being able to crystallize a single moment in so many minds. Telling stories of that day is a right of passage particularly for New Yorkers. I don't mean this to lessen anyone else's stories, but New York was especially affected by 9/11. These stories are important. They help us remember such a pivotal event, and event that is so shaping the world right now. There is the before-and-after feeling of that day. Right now think about how the world has changed. Think about not your daily life, but EVERYTHING. It is the fulcrum on which the next decade, perhaps century will be balanced on.

That's why United 93 is an important movie and why now was the time to make it. We need to remember that moment of realization that everything had changed. And, if anything, that what this movie is about. Many have said it is about heroes. Perhaps for some, but for me it is about desperation. It is about that singular moment in time when you suddenly realize that nothing will be the same again. It is about that sudden shift from one reality to the next. It is about the airtraffic controllers and administrators suddenly faced with a world that made no sense, information that made no sense. It is about not having a plan for something seemingly inconceivable and attempting the parse it into a plan of action. It is particularly about the passengers and crew on United Flight 93 being faced with certain death and no time and doing something. They didn't have the luxury of absorbing the images from CNN or Fox News. This movies is about that moment. It's not about choices. It's about the lack of choices.

There of course has been much talk that to even make this movie is exploitation, that it is too soon, that it is the filmmakers trying to make money off tragedy.

Bullshit.

Let's first consider a studio head or a producer being presented with this movie. Do you honestly think that any of them would say, "Hey, sounds like a summer block buster!"?

Secondly, people have become so jaded by Hollywood, any movie, that they forget that film can be Art (yes, capital 'A'). The vast vast majority of films are entertainment. From the Mission Impossible 3s to the artiest of art films, they are still, on some level, entertainment.

United 93 is not entertainment. It is Art. It is an attempt to capture a moment of time that defies journalism. Yes, it is not the real event. It is an interpretation of those events, as is all history, as is all art. But it is important (but not Important) because this is the story of how our world became to be. And, like all great Art, if you allow it to penetrate you, it will bring up emotions from your depth. It will make your remember and reflect.

Should you see it? I can't say. It will not be for everyone right now. Everyone needs to come to it when they are ready. If you have any reservations about bringing those emotions back up, don't see it. Don't see it because someone tells you that it is 'great.' You need top approach a film like this on your own accord,on your own terms. And it has flaws. (There is one European character, perhaps German, that is given a role, that while it fits into the scheme of possible reactions to the hijacking, is still disappointing. Why the one non-American passenger, not counting the hijackers? If I ever get director/writer Peter Greengrass in a locked room, I have some harsh questions for him.) All I can say is that it is the one movie I had no desire to pick apart. Those that know me know I love to pick things apart, so that is saying a lot.


One final note: I spend way too much time on the internet. I have watched the Loose Change video. I can play conspiracy with the best of them. I know the theories that supposedly no plain crash in that Pennsylvania field. That all the events of 9/11 were manufactured. That flight 93 was created to make martyred heroes for that day. My response?

Fuck you. Yes, that's right. Fuck. You. I'm far left liberal who believes in questioning the every story and 'truth' you are presented with. Yes, question everything. Think hard about the event of that day. Think about all of the people, at all levels that it touched. Occam's razor.

Philp K. Dick: What a frackin' genius

I was re-reading some Philip K. Dick short stories in anticipation of the upcoming A Scanner Darkly movie and amused by the story Autofac. Written in 1955, it tells the tale of automated factories that, when faced with the possibility of being destroyed, shot tiny microscopic robots to build more factories.

1955. Dangers of nanotech.

Brilliant.